My car is a little funny

There seems to be some sort of electrical glitch in my vintage Oldsmobile. The radio is always automatically tuned to either the country music station or A.M. 1400, the local Nazi station. I can not tolerate either for more than 30 seconds. Yet I can't help but here some--interesting arguments from the likes of Limbaugh and Savage in the time it takes me to put on my sunglasses and change the station to KZUM. Just an hour ago I heard some peckerhead railing against his own imaginary strawman of liberal hypocrisy. It seems that the same ones who were "having nighmares,warning against, complaining, screaming about Passion of the Christ" are the same ones who have no problem with the Da'Vinci Code.
Jesus fuck, where do I even begin? Let's just do a list for the sake of keeping it light and humourous.

1. If "The Da'Vinci Code" was nothing but a naked man being beaten to death for three hours, I'm sure there would be complaints.
2. "Da'Vinci" is nothing but a (very) dumbed down regurgitation of old Gnostic teachings. The book and movie combined have about 1/10th the intelligence of Nietzsche's grade school poetry. If he couldn't bring down Christianity, it's hard to imagine that Tom Hanks can.
3. You sir, are such an obvious Pharasee that Jesus himself wouldn't even bother telling you so. "Passion" has heavily marketed and distributed by the Hollywood machine. It was a huge hit that made a trillion dollars. Some people complained, deal with it. People complain about the Zubruder film too. You're mad because there are non-Christians who refuse to accept their inferiority. If one does not accept the "message" of "Passion", than how could they possibly enjoy it? I can watch zombie porn for my sick amusement.
4. The whole moral panic over 'The Da'Vinci Code" is rooted in the same fallacy. Self- appointed defenders of Christianity(I know you're not all crazy, and Jesus was a cool guy) act under the assumption that non-Christians secretly know they're wrong. Therefore this pre-packaged, psuedo- revisionist fluff must be part of the grand anti-Christian conspiracy.
5. The ideas presented in the film have long ago been succesfully refuted by the Catholic Church in healthy genocidal debate.
6. Haven't you ever heard the story about the boy who cried "secular agenda"? The "mainstream" that you claim to represent is starting to catch on to your bullshit.
7. You have missed a golden opportunity to form an alliance with snobs like me against shitty movies. But no, you had to go and piss us off with the same old trash.

P.S. Speaking of revisionist history, I,m thinking up ideas for the next chapter of "Brief history of Tag" I'm thinking biblical, like the Joseph saga or Exodus. I'v been doing "research" on the internet that has led me to watching old "Beavis and Butthead" shows. This is what I do when my ideas are overly vague.