A Brief History of Tag, Chapter 2: The Will to Power

And it came to pass that the father figures gained empires, and tribes grew into nations. The greatest of these was Egypt, where the "father" was called Pharoh, who openly claimed to be a God. But this "God" lived in fear of a society of even more powerful men.
Thousands of years before the first Pharoh dared to crown himself, the land now called Egypt was nothing but an extension of the surrounding wasteland. There was no river Nile, and nothing alive larger than a dust mite. But all primitive folk who than lived recorded in their own way the huge flash of light and cosmic boom that shook the whole world. It was a great spaceship, piloted by a group of nihilistic space dadiasts from Andromada. Their intent was to enslave the primative inhabitants of Earth and force them to carve a great river in the middle of the desert. They believed that this ultimate absurdity would shock Andromada out of its false consciousness.
But lo, the kings and priests of the world were trapped in their own propaganda. They rebelled against the aliens commands, and doomed their subjects to one surrealistic massacre after another. Great Ur was showered with flaming sides of beef named Rufus. The children of Babylon were forced to dress as priest while they dug their own graves with phallic red lobsters. In this manner the whole of the human race was endangered.
Had the space invaders never come upon those of the tag,(It would, of course, be many centuries before they named themselves thus) than our sorry history would be a story of pathetic death instead of pathetic survival. But the gallatic aliens were impressed with our indifference to the foolish power structures of society. A conference was held between the aliens and the proto-awesome and the taggers were impressed by the artistic merit of the proposed Nile River.
I tell you truly, my comarades, that we dug the great Nile with our bare hands, and accepted the beatings of our alien masters with pleasure. Through a hundred years and five generations did we labor, and when we were done, so were we rewarded.
People were brought to live on the newly fertile ground, and they were given an overlord to make them feel comfortable. This overlord came to be called "Pharoh" and some grew to be quite arrogant. But only a doomed handful dared to challange the power of the Egyption priests. These priests, as you may have already guessed, were in fact the elders and leaders of the Tag, which was starting to take its modern shape. You may have also guessed that the "gods" these prists prayed to were nothing but the alien art-school dropouts who mandated the creation of Egypt. Any Pharoh who dared to challenge this alliance faced a death thatwas both horrible and absurd.
There are those who belieed that the Egyptian pristhood died out with the rise of Christianity. This is a half-truth.....