Logical Argument Uber Alles

Terrence Reis wrote a column to the Journal-Star today disputing Police Chief Tom Cassady's opposition to concealed weapons. Lets just do a quick summary of statements that would get Mr. Reiss a failing grade in any High School Philosophy or Rheteroric class.

" Let's face it: Mayor Seng can help our chief get things for his department and officers, or not. Concerning the survey performed by one of Casady's officers, I believe these results are flawed. It has been found that surveys to law enforcement personel are biased. Why? Possible retribution.

Here we have a combination of strawman and circular reasoning. Reis begins by demurring with what he believes to be Casady's secret motivation instead of what he actually wrote. As for circular reasoning, this is more or less what Reis is saying
'Police don't want you to have concealed guns, therefore they slant their polls so that you don't know they really want you to have concealed guns."

"He also mentions that handguns get turned on their owners and that accidents and mistakes do happen. In the chief's line of thinking, than, we should no longer allow people to get driver's licenses. Driving should be banned, cars kill people."

I can see whether or not you are currently driving a car. I can also see whether or not a given driver appears enranged, insane, drunk, or some combination of all three. This is also the first of several times in the article where Reis argues as if carrying a concealed gun is the only possible means of carrying a gun.

"Who will be applying for concealed carry permits? According to records of other states that allow concealed carry, your typical red-blooded American, both men and women. From doctors and lawyers to teachers and business owners to ..."

In logic, that which is "normal" is irrelevant. I am not personally a "red-blooded American" and neither is anyone else in my neighborhood. I have less trust for red-blooded Americans than I do for any other class of people.

" You cannot depend on the police to protect you. Unless they live in your house, share your bed or socialize with you 100 percent of the time. It is impossible for them to do so"

True enough, one would do well to have some means to defend oneself. However, what we have here is what is known as 'begging the question'. Reiss argues as if there is no question that a concealed gun is the only, or at least the best, means of self-defense. I would like to offer the following list of alternatives, all of which are, in my opinion, superior means of self-protection.
1.An unconcealed gun
2. An unconcealed knife
3. A chainsaw (Don't even bother trying to hide it.)
4. Bottle Rockets
5. A brick
6. A shoe
7. Empty 40 oz.
8. Everclear to the face.
9. Mason jar full of semen.
10. Shitzou to the face
11. Electric bass guitar
12. Your bare fists you fucking pussy

"Another example of their inability to protect you is the countless numbers of women with court-issued restraining orders killed every year throughout the country by stalkers , ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends. Simply put, you are on your own. We all are."
Once again, this is true enough. It is also true that these attacks often occur in the victim's home, where the question of allowing concealed weapons in public doesn't apply. Otherwise, see the list above. By the way, conjuring images of damsels in distress to make your point is the classiest thing I've read all week. The last three paragraphs are nothing but an endless blur of fallacy.
I think the greatest disappointment to me in the chief's remarks is that generally a paints a picture of the average citizen of Lincoln an an idiot, incapible and reckless. It is easy for the chief and law officers to say no to concealed carry, Since most carry off duty. they have the means to protect themselves and those they love, which they want to deny you and your family. They are safe because they have their weapons. They don't want you to have the same safe feeling you enjoy."
Let's deal with the most obvious bullshit first. "It is easy for the chief and law officers to say no to concealed carry, since most carry off duty." Notice that when Reis states that "most carry off duty" he doesn't mention anything about concealed carry. Yes, that's right, it's possible to carry a gun without hiding it. Reis wrote as much himself without somehow realizing it. There is also a more subtle fallacy, "They are safe because they have their weapons" Even if a gun made one invulnerable to crime (which is not remotely true) there is still the fact that human criminals are only one possible cause of death out of thousands, and there is no reason to fear a madman more than a virus. There are those who think that being murdered by a human is worse than dying "naturally" because of some perceived insult or dishonor. I do not hold this view. Murdured at 20, cancer at 50, it's the same thing.

Yes, I am disapointed in the chief, because he seems to think his family has more value than yours or mine is worth protecting. Your family and mine are not as valuble, and you and I should not be able to protect them.

Well, wouldn't you know it? It's the strawman/ad hominem combo! Let's just make another quick list of whats wrong with this paragraph so I can get out of here before the liquor store closes.
1. Onceafuckinggain Reis argues as if a concealed gun is the only possible means of self-defense. This time he brings the family along to make us feel emasculated. I thought we were all on our own.
2. Chief Cassady is presented as secretly knowing that he is wrong and knowing that a concealed gun is the only possible means of self-defense. Therefore he must think his family is superior to yours.
asshole(Noun)- One who believes that he/she is so obviously right that no one could possibly disagree with him/her without having a secret evil motivation for doing so.

"In closing, I am more disapointed and inclined not to like Mayor Seng who thinks that she is more intelligent and knows more then all the legeslators combined who passed this law."

In honor of this statement, I will offer my rebutal in a single run-sentence.
Well I don't know, she did notice a loophole in the law which the Unicameral apparantly did not, allowing her to exercise her perogative as mayor, and what's with this sudden appeal to authority after spending a hundred words slandering the police, the basic argument, of course, is total bullshit; "my favorite color is black" "Well mine is blue" "Why do you think you're better than me?"