Dé Sathairn, Iúil 31, 2010

Found at 28th and E: Scrap of Note Paper

"Hello! Well the name of this book is kinda ironic cause my best friend is a fucking asshole! ever since he broke up with his bif he treats me like shit! He came out to a bunch of people and has almost completely turned his back on me! like I'm some piece of shit that doesn't deserve to live! Of course he will deny hows he's been treating me and say sorry! Well if he was truly sorry he would stop doing it! I have no idea whats going on with us! I have so much shit on him is unbelievable. But we really do have a lot of good times together but right now the bad is out weighing the good! I NEED TO STOP BEING SO JEALOUS AND STOP WORRYING SO MUCH But with everything going on it's like I can't help but WORRY EVERYTIME I'M THINKING WERE GOOD HE DOES SOMETHING THAT PISSES ME OFF! I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE BETTER BUT HE ISNT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP ME GET BACK TO NORMAL


I wish he wouldn't of come out to so many people at once but it...."

Author Unknown.

Déardaoin, Iúil 29, 2010

Rush Limbaugh has Been Mocking Malia Obama, age 12


and right-wingers on the internet have been defending him, naturally.

It's nothing new, there was the referral to the pubescent Chelsea Clinton as "the Whitehouse Dog" back in the day, and it's really something that he has to do. Limbaugh speaks for an audience who imagine everyone to be as malevolent as themselves, who believe that the urge to bully is a basic and universal human instinct, that decency is maintained only through the force of 'or else', so that any kindness or courtesy which isn't inspired by the basest tribal loyalty must necessarily by inspired by fear.

Limbaugh has to attack the president's children in order to show that he ISN'T AFRAID TO GO THERE. And it goes without saying that every single one of the millions of Democratic voters are personally responsible for every crude joke that somebody made about Trig Palin, so that we have no right to complain about Limbaugh, lest we be hypocrites. And of course there's the old 'what about all those things you libs said about Bush? What happened to free speech' saw.

So when they make crude attacks on the president's family we can either except that we have no right but to sit there and take their holy vengeance, or we can complain and so let them know that we are bothered by their actions. Either way right-wingers will be able to maintain the illusion of having liberals under their heel that they constantly need to have, and never mind about hurting the feelings of children. If children aren't fair game, than why are they smaller than us?

Dé Céadaoin, Iúil 28, 2010

Mick Ronson

Baaaad ass motherfucker that guy was.

So, The Champions League Qualifiers has Reached the Point of Teams you may Have heard of

My team, Celtic, just got beat 3-0 by the Portuguese runners-up.

I cheer for a club that would have great trouble avoiding the drop in any of the big four leagues.

Does that make me hip?

Goddamnit so fucking much.

But of Course

"Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, made a similar argument on Tuesday in Baghdad. “I think it’s important to recognize, or emphasize, that these are documents that cover the period 2004 to 2009,” Admiral Mullen said. “Much has changed since 2009, particularly with respect to our focus, our new strategy in Afghanistan and Pakistan.” - NYT: 7/28/10

Right, it's perfectly ovious that the Afghan situation has changed much more between 2009 and 2010 than it did between 2004 and 2009.

Because if the Oliver North episode taught us anything, it's that whatever comes out of the mouth of a man in uniform; be it 'God bless America' or 'bidi bidi bidi bidi I like poo', is automatically the epitome of truth and rightousness. Let's roll.

Dé Luain, Iúil 26, 2010

A bit From Anne Catherine Emmerich on the Flogging of Christ

"These cruel men had many times scourged poor criminals to death at this pillar. They resembled wild beasts or demons, and appeared to be half drunk. They struck our Lord with their fists, and dragged him by the cords with which he was pinioned, although he followed them without offering the least resistance, and, finally, they barbarously knocked him down against the pillar. This pillar, placed in the centre of the court, stood alone, and did not serve to sustain any part of the building; it was not very high, for a tall man could touch the summit by stretching out his arm; there was a large iron ring at the top, and both rings and hooks a little lower down. It is quite impossible to describe the cruelty shown by these ruffians towards Jesus: they tore off the mantle with which he had been clothed in derision at the court of Herod, and almost threw him prostrate again.

Jesus trembled and shuddered as he stood before the pillar, and took off his garments as quickly as he could, but his hands were bloody and swollen. The only return he made when his brutal executioners struck and abused him was to pray for them in the most touching manner: he turned his face once towards his Mother, who was standing overcome with grief; this look quite unnerved her: she fainted, and would have fallen, had not the holy women who were there supported her. Jesus put his arms round the pillar, and when his hands were thus raised, the archers fastened them to the iron ring which was at the top of the pillar; they then dragged his arms to such a height that his feet, which were tightly bound to the base of the pillar, scarcely touched the ground. Thus was the Holy of holies violently stretched, without a particle of clothing, on a pillar used for the punishment of the greatest criminals; and then did two furious ruffians who were thirsting for his blood begin in the most barbarous manner to scourge his sacred body from head to foot. The whips or scourges which they first made use of appeared to me to be made of a species of flexible white wood, but perhaps they were composed of the sinews of the ox, or of strips of leather.


Our loving Lord, the Son of God, true God and true Man, writhed as a worm under the blows of these barbarians; his mild but deep groans might be heard from afar; they resounded through the air, fording a kind of touching accompaniment to the hissing of the instruments of torture. These groans resembled rather a touching cry of prayer and supplication, than moans of anguish. The clamour of the Pharisees and the people formed another species of accompaniment, which at times as a deafening thunder-storm deadened and smothered these sacred and mournful cries, and in their place might be heard the words, ‘Put him to death!’ ‘Crucify him!’ Pilate continued parleying with the people, and when he demanded silence in order to be able to speak, he was obliged to proclaim his wishes to the clamorous assembly by the sound of a trumpet, and at such moments you might again hear the noise of the scourges, the moans of Jesus, the imprecations of the soldiers, and the bleating of the Paschal lambs which were being washed in the Probatica pool, at no great distance from the forum. There was something peculiarly touching in the plaintive bleating of these lambs: they alone appeared to unite their lamentations with the suffering moans of our Lord.

The Jewish mob was gathered together at some distance from the pillar at which the dreadful punishment was taking place, and Roman soldiers were stationed in different parts round about. Many persons were walking to and fro, some in silence, others speaking of Jesus in the most insulting terms possible, and a few appearing touched, and I thought I beheld rays of light issuing from our Lord and entering the hearts of the latter. I saw groups of infamous, bold-looking young men, who were for the most part busying themselves near the watch-house in preparing fresh scourges, while others went to seek branches of thorns. Several of the servants of the High Priests went up to the brutal executioners and gave them money; as also a large jug filled with a strong bright red liquid, which quite inebriated them, and increased their cruelty tenfold towards their innocent Victim. The two ruffians continued to strike our Lord with unremitting violence for a quarter of an hour, and were then succeeded by two others. His body was entirely covered with black, blue, and red marks; the blood was trickling down on the ground, and yet the furious cries which issued from among the assembled Jews showed that their cruelty was far from being satiated....."


"Passion of the Christ", which has received some fresh attention in lieu of its directors now indisputable savagery, has been described as a homoerotic, which isn't necessarily true. When one realizes that 'Sister' Emmerich's "Delourious Passion of our Lord Jesus Christ" is the main source for the film it becomes clear that it was made for those of any gender who are attracted to cute, yet are unable to make sweet cute love to cute; rather they feel compelled to grind cute into mush and then devour it.

It is in other words exactly the sort of film you'd expect from someone who left the mother of his children for a lover half his age and then preceded to knock the stuffing out of her. Nothing revelatory here, it's just as ugly as it is, and Mel Gibson is no closet case but rather exactly the asshole he appears to be.

True, there is still the fact that the film mostly eschews Christ's teachings on peace in unity in order to concentrate on how he was stripped and hammered really hard. (but only because he wanted it) But this, I think, has more to do with Gibson's unwillingness to accept the softness and vulnerability that Christ's teachings demand than any repressed carnality. I could be wrong here. He's a really fucked up guy after all.

55 Proof Beer Drunk out of a Stuffed Squirrel


I prefer shots of whiskey with fucking bullets in them.

Wikileaks Should Change its Name to Sunshine Lemon Drop Delivery Service

This report began with an account of Afghan soldiers and police officers harassing and beating local civilians for refusing to cooperate in a search. It then related the story of a district police commander who forced himself on a 16-year-old girl. When a civilian complained, the report continued, “The district commander ordered his bodyguard to open fire on the AC [Afghan civilian]. The bodyguard refused, at which time the district commander shot [the bodyguard] in front of the AC.”

A car accident turned deadly when an argument broke out between the police and the Afghan National Army. “The argument escalated and ANA & ANP started to shoot at each other,” a report said.

In a short but heated meeting at the presidential palace, the Kabul police chief,
Brig. Gen. Mir Amanullah Gozar, angrily refuted accusations made publicly by Jamil Karzai that he was corrupt and lacked professional experience. The report of the meeting identified Jamil Karzai as the president’s brother; he is in fact a cousin.
General Gozar “said that if Jamil were not the president’s Brother he would kidnap, torture, and kill him,” the report said. He added that he was aware of plans by the American-led coalition to remove him from his post.
He threatened the president, saying that if he were replaced he would reveal “allegations about Karzai having been a drug trader and supporter of the Pakistan-led insurgency in Afghanistan,” presumably a reference to Mr. Karzai’s former links with the Taliban.

Afghan police officers shot a local driver who tried to speed through their checkpoint on a country road in Ghazni Province south of Kabul. The police had set up a temporary checkpoint on the highway just outside the main town in the district of Ab Band.
A car approached the check point at a high rate of speed,” the report said. All the police officers fled the checkpoint except one. As the car passed the checkpoint it knocked down the lone policeman. He fired at the vehicle, apparently thinking that it was a suicide car bomber.
“The driver of the vehicle was killed,” the report said. “No IED [improvised explosive device] was found and vehicle was destroyed.”
The police officer was detained in the provincial capital, Ghazni, and questioned. He was then released. The American mentoring the police concluded in his assessment that the policeman’s use of force was appropriate. Rather than acknowledging the public hostility such episodes often engender, the report found a benefit: it suggested that the shooting would make Afghans take greater care at checkpoints in the future.
“Effects on the populace clearly identify the importance of stopping at checkpoints,” the report concluded.

Shortly after five American rockets destroyed a compound in Paktika Province, helicopter-borne commandos from Task Force 373 — a classified Special Operations unit of Army Delta Force operatives and members of the Navy Seals — arrived to finish the job.
The mission was to capture or kill Abu Laith al-Libi, a top commander for Al Qaeda, who was believed to be hiding at the scene of the strike.
But Mr. Libi was not there. Instead, the Special Operations troops found a group of men suspected of being militants and their children. Seven of the children had been killed by the rocket attack.
Some of the men tried to flee the Americans, and six were quickly killed by encircling helicopters. After the rest were taken as detainees, the commandos found one child still alive in the rubble, and performed CPR for 20 minutes.
Word of the attack spread a wave of anger across the region, forcing the local governor to meet with village elders to defuse the situation.
American military officials drew up a list of “talking points” for the governor, pointing out that the target had been a senior Qaeda commander, that there had been no indications that women and children would be present and that a nearby mosque had not been damaged.
After the meeting, the governor reported that local residents were in shock, but that he had “pressed the Talking Points.” He even “added a few of his own that followed in line with our current story.”
The attack was caused by the “presence of hoodlums,” the governor told the people. It was a tragedy that children had been killed, he said, but “it could have been prevented had the people exposed the presence of insurgents in the area.”

This last one is my favorite, six children killed and another who was, not alive per se but alive enough for CPR; lacking any obviously fatal external trauma, so his mother could look at her sons corpse without getting all distressed.

President Obama needs to know that the political damage to him and his party will be the same no matter what he does. If he pulls out, it will be beacuse those damned liberals were once again too weak to impose America's will. If he keeps our forces there, and they inevitably continue to flounder, it will be because those damned liberals were once again too weak to impose America's will. The Taliban will never stop. Is futile to try to browbeat a gang of frustrated and stupid men into surrender when killing and being killed by agents of a foreign empire is their only means of feeling important.

So since the president has nothing to lose by doing the right thing and pulling out I myself must respectfully demand that he do so. My country already had quite enough blood on its hands before the most recent entanglements in Western Asia, and to get more on when hands now when there is nothing to gain except the bleeding away of our own lives and money that we don't actually have is something far beyond insane.


Dé Domhnaigh, Iúil 25, 2010

It's My Parents Anniversary Today

I called them this morning and told them about my toe being crushed by a bar chair last, though the word crush is over dramatic since nothing is broken. My mom and dad both asked me if I slugged the guy who did it. No, I said, I didn't hit Jon Augustine back, rather I collapsed to the ground in pain, got up, went outside to look at my toe and see if the pain would gradually fade, signaling that all was well, or if it would stay at the same torturous level, or return to that level if I tried to wiggle my toes, indicating a break.

The pain faded, and I could wiggle. I accepted Aug's apology and would have no matter the diagnosis, why wouldn't I have? I find it very unfortunate that both of my parents seem to consider the source of my pain, the fact that it was another human being, the fact that I was 'wronged' to be more important than the pain itself. If I tried to tell them my own beliefs on the matter, that justice is not about equity or tangible scorekeeping, but is rather nothing more than the prevention, avoidance, and relief of suffering, well I'd probably just lose them I'm afraid.

Really it was just an anecdote I brought up to Mom for the sake of conversation. Really there is nothing that makes this incident distinctive beyond the fact that it happened yesterday instead of Wednesday. I didn't mean to give her the impression that I thought it was a big deal, because really I was just talking to her out of duty instead of an eagerness to talk to her that I have never felt.

There was a cheeky sing-a-long to Joan Osbourne's "One of Us" in Sp ce last night. Now I knew that this has always been a banal piece of Oprah philosophy, that's always been clear. But it wasn't until I head the lyrics that I realized just how inane this old warhorse was;

"If God had a name what would it be?"

There are of course many others, these are just two of the more popular. I mean it's not as if this is obscure knowledge at all you know. This is a thirteen-year-old dirtweed smokers idea of depth, just dense as all hell. Seriously.

I'd Like to Try Sauerbraten Sometime

Never done it, and, I don't know, I like strong and savory flavors, looks really good. Fucking ay.

Dé hAoine, Iúil 23, 2010

Machete Trailor

I think I just came a little bit.


Dé Céadaoin, Iúil 21, 2010

Hairspray. Woman. Is. Back. (Americans ask why is ther on TV commercials of homes bursting from ammunitions)



Charisma healings can be received at most homeless shelters in America by asking for the chrisma woman. Among the first to receive chrisma healings they are giving out the highest attainment of humans to be healed. Care for weak persons is their concern for all. Christ can assist you every day thereafter with this special chrisma healing.
There have been many persons detained in psych units that really don't need to be there. Among them was a woman who was given this healing first. She prefers to be called one of the chrisma woman healers also. This is a timing when Christ is most needed because of the Moslem voices in person's heads and the candida Chinease empty ships that sent some Americans to psych units to be exterminated. Even senators have to repair themselves exquisitely.


State "Devine how do you do your highest attainment today?" And then "how do you do your highest attainment today" can be said over and over again especially if you perceive any mistreatment.
Wear a white cross on your forehead for the "seal on the forehead and you will be saved" is mentioned in revelations. Christ cares for us in any age. We think this is what Christians did after 999AD and thereafter. Since 1999 we have been given the same revelation.
For better problem solving consider putting a white cross on the top of your page. Write a Divine affirmation such as "Divine I have an abundance of resources." Then write down the problem. Add white crosses where ever you like and especially where you would like more assistance. State Divine affirmations a while or go away for a little bit. When you come back some fruitful ideas may be added so you may care more fully for weak persons.


Americans ask why is there on TV commercials of homes bursting from ammunitions. Chinese have gotten a hold of our TV programming and are bragging of what they want to try out.
Americans ask why do we have so many foreigners in our federal government.
We are not suppose to. It is illegal to hire a foreigner for a government position. An example is the head of FCC, a Moslem man who wants to have electric health charts so he can write in "Yes" to the phrase advance directive and exterminate Americans. Their intentions are genocide.
What can I, an American do about it?
Help build a wall from San Diego to Seattle so the Chinese don't arrive masively like they did in Tibet recently. Wear hair spray and insect repellent. Apply in San Diego. We are a miniscule population compared to the Chinese. We need your help.
Help guard our post offices, law and medical libraries with door jammers. Advance directives were never voted in. Russians rebound our law and medical books with threat of life intentions. End advance directives in your area.
Get copies of our newsletters about healings for candida for your hospital. Ask for a paper copy of your medical chart and bring with you a merck manual to be sure of your diagnosis and treatment. Ask for peppermint oil sprayed on surgery incisions and have no penicillin.


Non walkers need more stimulation. A moon walk with a kid jumping beside him is amusing to a retarded person.
A ghost house with 3D faces that jump out at them with a "boo" , a kiss and a scream is likeable to these participants.
A bouncy conveyer belt can hold a non walker through jiggling, vibrating, sending waves through the belt and a spray of water.
They can ride a "back to the future car". Let the non walker get on rolly coaster and spin rides. Let's have plenty of handlers. This can be as popular as Special Olympics are to those that walk.

Dé Domhnaigh, Iúil 18, 2010

In Honor of the Heat: Some Thoughts on global Warming Denialism

On the one hand there is the tendency within predispositional conservatism to equate social normality with normal good, and here in the US there is nothing that represents middle-class normality more than the private automobile. So naturally it is very hard for those who have embraced the standard ideal of three cars and a house in the suburbs to accept that this essential badge of Americaness has negative side effects.

But there is also something deeper and uglier at work here. Listen to the hate-mongers on talk radio and you will very often here environmentalists dismissed as 'earth-worshipers'. There is a modicum of truth to this, as there really is such a thing as Earth Worshipers, who naturally disapprove of industrial abuse, and can at times be a little obnoxious about it. (Though they're really not so bad as has been let on, and sex with hippie chicks in the woods is just grand.) Mostly though, the 'EW' charge is utter horseshit. Warnings about the consequences of global warming and other environmental concerns comes mostly from perfectly staid bourgeois Americans who fear whats about to happen to our country (and everybody else's of course) if we don't fix what we're doing wrong.

While the 'Earth-Worshiper' label is obviously an attempt to paint everyone with environmental concerns as part of the same army of pot-smoking radicals, I do think that there's some sincerity to it even among the demagogues. There is a feeling that anyone who objects to absolute dominance of nature necessarily must want to bow down to it, because to the authoritarian mind this is really the only form of relationship that exists between people or the things we interact with.

It is the sense that it is only the failure to establish control which is the cause of vulnerability, that establishing control is the means achieving security. To those who believe in man's dominion over nature it is heresy to suggest that nature could ever give us any serious trouble, and when it does it isn't really nature anyway but rather a patriarchal god using nature as his vehicle.

To go further and suggest that nature could bring ruin to us not only in spite of our 'dominance' of it, but specifically because of it, is to the authoritarian the ultimate blasphemy.

This is certainly a mindset that can easily be associated with other classics of human stupidity as well, must especially post 9-11 foreign policy by the US, from torture to Guantanamo, from the decision to invade Iraq and the vicious shouting down of the 'blame America first' crowd. The central delusion behind most others is that the desire for physical power does not exist for its own ecstatic sake but is rather an utterly sane and paternal impulse, existing only for the sake of protecting what is precious.

Alleviating the effects of global warming requires the sort of protection which doesn't involve beating people down or mechanically transforming great landscapes at will; therefore it cannot be, for the love of all manhood must not be.

Déardaoin, Iúil 15, 2010

Actual New York Times Headline

"Unknown Is a Nominee for Alabama Governor"

Hell yes.

Dé Céadaoin, Iúil 14, 2010

Bastille Day

Just saw an amateur English translation of "La Marseillaise" on Youtube and; Damn, quite the fascist little ditty that one.

Dé Máirt, Iúil 13, 2010

Ahh Mel Gibson, So Boyishly Highstrung

“I own you.” “You should just smile and blow me, because I DESERVE IT!”

“You need a bat to the side of your head...I’ll put you in a flower-bed; I’m capable of it!”

“If you get raped by a pack of niggers it will be your fault,”

Bullshit or Not?

"Desperate Addicts Inject Each Others' Blood"


Desperate heroin users in a few African cities have begun engaging in a practice that is so dangerous it is almost unthinkable: they deliberately inject themselves with another addict’s blood, researchers say, in an effort to share the high or stave off the pangs of withdrawal.

The practice, called flashblood or sometimes flushblood, is not common, but has been reported in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, on the island of Zanzibar and in Mombasa, Kenya.

It puts users at the highest possible risk of contracting AIDS and hepatitis. While most AIDS transmission in Africa is by heterosexual sex, the use of heroin is growing in some cities, and experts are warning that flashblood — along with syringe-sharing and other dangerous habits — could fuel a new wave of AIDS infections.

“Injecting yourself with fresh blood is a crazy practice — it’s the most effective way of infecting yourself with H.I.V.,” said Dr. Nora D. Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, which supports the researchers who discovered the practice. “Even though the number who do it is a relatively small group, they are vectors for H.I.V. because they support themselves by sex work.”

Now, has there ever been a case of a skaghead injecting a friend's blood to hold off withdrawal, either in darkest Africa or other places? Probably so, in fact I'm afraid almost certainly so. Obviously you could not possibly find a more reliable means of spreading HIV or any other killer bug. Obviously throwing prostitutes (and thus the second most reliable means of spreading disease) into this equation is a horrific prospect.

But is this actually so widespread as the article implies? It certainly does have a whiff of Jenkem about it. You may have heard about the minor panic over strapping American lads toking shit vapors, and how this panic was based on nothing more than the word of a couple of paranoid and priggish small-town cops. What you may not know is that there is nothing to confirm this practice existing in Africa beyond the fact that the BBC and some Zambian police say so, and that everyone knows those filthy Africans will do anything.

Just as with these stories of 'flashblooding' I'm sure that there really have been some sorry bastards somewhere who actually did ride the brown dragon. It's the implied premise that this is what the cool kids in Zambia do on Friday nights that remains dubious. And as for flashblooding; well if it's as real as the NYT says it is, then everyone in Kenya will be dead in ten years, so I guess we'll know then.

Hairspray Casandra's Latest


“Everyone likes to be alive as long as possible” ordinance allows all citizens to stay alive as long as possible at home and at hospital"

Dear Editor;

As author of “Healings for Schizophrenia” I came across a kindly Saint Oriaf in eighth century Spain that put those afflicted in a church and they got well. Prince of Paris said “Take refuge in a church and stay there” and got well. From 1200 to 1624 Europeans burned women for blaspheming. 1624 was the last time they burned women and was the year Moslems were finally out of Europe. The statements the peasants heard were the same as now “this is the end of the world” during the year 999AD. The peasants heard Moslem voices in their head.
If you watched “World Trade Center” the Moslems started the day with chanting in their head. The chanting was from another Moslem in their head.
Now what we have had is an American hears a Moslem voice in their head, goes to the psych unit and gets exterminated with advance directives.
Americans don’t want that.
Candida fungus has been also a part of schizophrenia. If you have symptoms of cakey feeling in mouth and brain or experience “brain fog” here are some answers. Essential oils on body or room; if you like free essential oils, pick a pine needle frond and put on your head under a hat. Essential oils plug in, hydrogen peroxide head soak and kerchief over mouth of kneipps bath oil and water. The cheapest answer is sleeping on the ground outside where fungus goes into the ground instead of permeating the air.
Some other answers are to sip milk all day, chlorine pellet room and have epsom salts bath to lessen cancer causing chlorine and have hydrogen peroxide poultice on head. Open window and use fan if without essential oils aroma. Miconizole cream on body, diflucan and sporinex are helpful.
Do all of these; ingest baking soda with water, megadose vitamin E, ¼ cup olive oil, UV tan, megadose vitamin C particularly if you have hallucinations. Eat yogurt, put yogurt on head, garlic wreathes on body and in socks, and honey in bowl to bring fungus to eat on sticky honey and stay there.
For hallucinations eat dirt. How did this idea come along? Historians found remnants of loaves of bread with ¼ dirt in a village in middle ages France. The cause of death for some peasants was eating too much dirt. Perhaps the bread had ergot in it and they ate bread with dirt in it to survive.
Perhaps the origin of schizophrenia is having a tiny bit more ergot in your grains than other persons. Health food stores have a tiny amount more ergot than supermarkets. Vitamin C dusted on grains has been tried to reduce the fungus.
Clay balls were found among natives of the Amazon. They had put the clay balls in their water so that if anything was poisoned the clay neutralized it. Even a bath with clay or dirt in it helps.
Lithium can be added to our drinking water to reduce symptoms. Lithium is one of the most abundant minerals and is a kind of dirt. More chlorine can be added to our drinking water.
Chinese brought the new candida fungus in empty ships to California and promised to no longer do that. Chinese doctors head pallative care in this city. Pallative care is an extermination room.
Don’t go to a psych unit where they exterminate Americans.
State Divine constantly. Go to a church for Moslem voices. Go to a tanning salon for visual hallucinations and eat dirt. Go to a homeless shelter if you live alone and experience these. You will be safer among the bunks of friendly Americans. Try first

Dé Luain, Iúil 12, 2010

World Cup Final

Wow, what happened to you Holland? You guys used to be cool. Is losing really so bad as to be worse than playing like Germans for you? Sheesh.

The important thing is that the score was an accurate reflection of how the game went. Spain were noticeably better but also fucked up in ways that a team playing a ruthless style as Holland was could take advantage of.

All the intangibles were on Holland's side. Descendants of Boar colonials gave them virtual home field advantage and the Phariseic referee was complementing their gum-the-works style perfectly by blowing the whistle and killing flow at the slightest contact. (Damned strange how he was so quick to call tick-tack fouls yet unwilling to kick De Jong out of the game for his Chuck Norris impression.) Luckily for both Spain and decency the Dutch went to shit whenever they did have opportunities to take advantage of it;

The Spanish football team is a strange bird, overwhelmingly better than everyone else and yet rarely dominant on the scoreboard. Even now that they are finally world champs the bad finishing that has always killed them before is still there. Their goalie Iker Casillas is clearly the difference between a championship team and another legendary choke job in the vein of Brazil in 50 or Hungary in 54. And it is indisputable that he is the rightful captain of the team and entitled to handle the trophy first. He should of won the golden ball for best all-around player.

And man it was good stuff to see him paralyzed with tears of joy after the game was over, knowing that every male human on Earth was watching him on TV and still being unable to maintain. That's what this game and what love for this game is all about. The low-scoring nature makes it seem as if you are feeling the same physical nervousness as the players, and if it's your team you can feel how hard they're fighting for you. I remember Barcelona's last-minute winning goal against Chelsea in the 09 Champions League. Some wag put several Catalan radio clips online of announcers basically cumming into their microphones in joy at that goal. It's a hell of a sweet deal this game, is all I'm trying to say with that.

Déardaoin, Iúil 08, 2010

Hair Spray Cassandra Now Buying Space in the DN

Filed 610 under "announcements".

"MEN NEEDED to build wall to keep out half-billion Chinese. Apply in San Diego. (Wear hair spray.)

NEW CHINESE FUNGUS. For visions from candida chlorine pellet room, honey bowl, epson salts. Try baking soda, clay, vitamin C, E, olive oil, UV light. Don't go to psych unit."


Dé Céadaoin, Iúil 07, 2010

World Cup

Well justice was done in the Holland-Uruguay game, though we shouldn't overblow things here. Uruguay were nowhere near as evil as West Germany in 82, Argentina in 90, or Italy in any tournament they happen to be in. They played with heart and flair, not just cynicism and filth, and their game against the Netherlands was a classic.

I was riding a bus during today's game, but the replays on ESPN3 look like they could have come from any Spanish victory in the past four years. The Spanish national side gets compared to Barcelona a lot and it's easy to see why. Both are flowing, one-touch style teams with a mental toughness not usually associated with that style. Traditionally the formula for beating such "beautiful game" style teams has been to fluster them in a rough defensive dogfight; hit them on a brutally simple counter or two while they pass up one good chance after another in search of the perfect chance that a good defense will never let them have.

That's what killed the Dutch in 74 and 78, and it has also the main reason why Brazil has only five World Cups instead of ten. Soccer history is rife with pretty-looking attacking sides being upset by brutal tough guys in big games. This is why defensive Machiavellianism is the standard strategy in today's game, because it has proven itself to be the formula for winning trophies time and time again.

Yet, with the exception of Inter Milan in this year's Champions League, Barcelona has consistently beaten the bully strategy, and so has Spain, except for the Confederations cup against us last year and their opening game flub against Switzerland at this World Cup. Spain in fact has won four consecutive games by a single goal, 1-0 in the last three. This is the sort of robotic efficiency that historically only the Germans or Italians were capable of. This level of consistency is indeed nearly impossible in any sport, achieved only by a tiny handful of unloved and admired champions.

And good on Spain for pulling it off. It's good to see that attractive football need not necessarily be easily cowed or weak-willed. If La Roja and Barca continue to collect trophies they might be able to move the overall world game back in that direction, and that would be a wonderful favor to both the game and its fans.

I would also be happy for Holland if they won. I've long had a soft spot for Johann Cruyff and his merry band of Jesus Christ Superstar understudies. Though I am glad they won't get a shot at "revenge" against Germany. This is the WORLD Cup, and in that sense it's bad enough that both finalists are from Western Europe; but at least a Spain vs. Holland final is intriguing to neutral observers. The big Duetsch vs. little Dutch rivalry is just provincial and ugly, and those mean old Krauts always win anyway.

Dé Máirt, Iúil 06, 2010

Dolly Parton

I saw that face of hers on TV last night. My God but she is such a horrific devil-banshee of a woman, and to think that this thing is still considered a sex symbol in certain quarters, when the truth is that the sight of that face should rightfully lead one to shun all pleasures of a world that can produce such hellish abominations.

Sweet Jesus but she's a terrifying carnivorous bird-demon, and she cannot be killed, because she is death.

Dé Sathairn, Iúil 03, 2010

World Cup Notes

Well, Germany is certainly looking pretty good aren't they?

I feel sorry for Messi and the gang but I'm sure I have some company in enjoying watching Maradona suffer. This, as I've noted before, has nothing to do with his Marxist politics and cocaine use, because their isn't a thing wrong with either. And I certainly don-t care about the Hand-of-God goal from back in the day because fuck the English; rather it's that God damn cartoon jerri-curl of his. It's that fucking gauche-ass earring of his, the archtypical meatheadedness of the man; the casual misogyny, homophobia, arrogance, and anti-intelligence that commonly infects members of the athletic class anywhere. Just an all-around asshole that guy, the sort of man who would get into five barfights on the same night and think it's funny, the man who aggressively hits on your girlfriend and than gets mad if you feel anything less than honored by it.

Man fuck Diego Maradona, is all I got to say about that.

As for the other game, well my favorite to hoist the cup is still alive. I heard one of the announcers say that "Spain's road has been rocky." No it hasn't. They are in the final four for the second time in their history. Their road has been just fine. The fact that their games have been close means nothing. This is a world championship, every team is good and close games are the norm. It's the team that does best at winning close games that takes the trophy, not the bully that can rack up goal difference against a weak side.

Having said that, Germany's newfound ability to annihilate perfectly good sides is jaw-dropping stuff, and they are the obvious favorites heading in to the tournament's final stretch. I on the other hand am sticking to Spain; not out of reason but only out of loyalty to my predictions, and of course a Spain vs. Holland final, the Bridesmaids Bowl, would be adorable to watch.

Time for the real shit now.

Dé hAoine, Iúil 02, 2010

World Cup: (What the Fuck Ghana?)

So much for the idea of Brazil being a mentally tough team with Dunga as coach. Once Holland tied the game they started to play the role of the arrogant favorite in a Disney sports movie; truly and sincerely shocked that the other team would dare to fight back, and remaining that way even unto the last second, even after their last realistic chance was turned away. Incredible. It's the Dutch, generally considered to be the best world soccer 'program' not to have won the cup, who have the history of flaking out like this, and in fact this could well be the only time that they have ever won a game they weren't expected to. Still it was damned good theater, and though you can hardly call the Dutch underdogs they're going to have to pass for one with Ghana out.

As for that game, ouch. Tied after regulation, Ghana gets a free kick on a Uruguay handball at the end of extra time, the clock runs past the end of injury time, everyone knows that play is being allowed to continue only to allow the penalty, that the whistle is going to blow after that one kick by Ghana's pk specialist, Asamoah Gyan.

Missed, off the bar. In a smart coaching move, he gets the first kick in the shootout and hits it perfectly, but this time it's worth far less than everything.

Two of his teammates miss, and Uruguay advances by 'winning' this glorified coinflip, essentially winning the game on a handball, a hand that which stopped a ball that was unfuckingdeniably going in. This is surely a far worse thing than the cheating by Maradona and Henry that won games because the refs missed them. No, this handball was sighted, and duly punished with a red card and spot kick, a spot kick specifically designed to be a huge advantage for the shooter, to be a near sure-thing.

If only the ref hadn't been playing by the book. If only he had simply asserted, (over what probably would have been physically threatening howls of protest by Uruguay) that he "knew" he had seen the ball go over the line before it was handled, even let Suarez get by without penalty, why bother kicking a man off of a dead team in a finished game anyway?

But no, in the end the only effective punishment for dirty play is to score against it. Gyan didn't score, and so Uruguay is victorious on a duly noted handball. People still complain about the way Ghana flopped and and walked and otherwise wasted time against the USA after going ahead on us; but the fact is that they knew that simply stopping the game would be an effective defense against our ragged and jangly attack, and it was. If we had had enough smoothness and flair to our game, the ability the create something quickly between disruptions and score with it, than they would have regretted milking the clock.

In a way it is a shame that the low-scoring nature of soccer makes it more likely that one dirty play or boneheaded call can give the game to the bad guys. On the other hand there s something pure in the way that the victimized team is its own best cop. All you have to do to stop cheaters from prospering is to outplay them, the only problem is goals.