Dé Céadaoin, Márta 30, 2011

Déardaoin, Márta 17, 2011

This Just In

Phoenix's Sheriff Joe Arpaio has taken a break from hunting immigrants, (oh sorry, ILLEGAL!!111111111 immigrants) to find something else you need him to protect you from, protect you with his ferocious, hard, pulsating sense of masculine love for liberty and innocence.

And what could this latest outrage be? Trolling for animal sex on Craigslist. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/mar/16/sheriff-says-craigslist-facilitates-bestiality/

Yes friends, there are apparently some people who use the internet to procure socially deviant liaisons. I'm sure you're just as shocked and terrified as I am, but never fear! Simply submit yourselves to Joe Arpaio, he of the unyielding rigidity that makes a true father, and we will be safe.

Dé Céadaoin, Márta 16, 2011


"When I met you last night baby
Before you opened up your gap
I had respect for ya lady
But now I take it all back
Cause you gave me all your pussy
And ya even licked my balls
Leave your number on the cabinet
And I promise baby, I'll give ya a call
Next time I'm feelin kinda horny
You can come on over, and I'll break you off
And if you can't fuck, that day, baby
Just lay back, and open your mouth
Cause I have never
met a girl
That I love
in the whole wide world"


The Unicameral is considering a bill banning legal defences of 'insanity due to crunkness.'

"If you make a conscious choice to drink or get high, you should be held responsible for your behavior," (Colby) Coash said before the vote. "History has shown that neither jurors nor the public at large accept the idea that someone should be legally excused for criminal acts due to claiming temporary 'mental illness' after voluntarily ingesting drugs or alcohol. It is time to remove the possibility of this defense for good."

The first part of Coashs' statement is in fact true, and then he cites the fact that jurors do not typically but this line of defense as reason for why they should not be allowed to.

Well, I suppose I would only be a criminal-loving fairy if I pointed out how stupid this is; so; alright then.

Top 10 FCs

1. Barcelona
2. Man United
3. Milan
4. Dortmund
5. Real Madrid
6. Arsenal
7. Lille
8. Inter Milan
9. Chelsea
10 Shakhtar Donetsk

Dé Máirt, Márta 15, 2011

Attention All Muslims, Lovecraftians, Crowleyites, Wiccans, and Satanists.

You are all now free to build the the most obnoxious and expensive monuments to your own personal god, gods, goddesses, or omnicidal cosmic horrors you are able to produce right in downtown Branson. And personally you have my fullest encouragement to do so.

The Missouri House has given first-round approval to proposed state constitutional amendment that would guarantee Missourians the right to express their religious beliefs in public places.
The sponsor of the legislation, Rep. Mike McGhee, R-Odessa, says school children, among others, are being targeted for professing their religious beliefs.
McGhee cited instances where school children wearing crosses and carrying Bibles have been removed from classrooms.
McGhee's amendment specifies that the religious activities must be voluntary and subject to the same rules and regulations of all other forms of speech.

You're a groovy motherfucker Mike McGhee.

Dé Domhnaigh, Márta 13, 2011

Damn Japan.

I know it's terrible, but I can't stop being reminded of the 'Kids in the Hall' sketch where a German news anchor reports flooding along the Rhine, with sharks.

Damn shame about the nuclear plants. But at least the Japanese do have some experience dealing with radiation poisoning.

It was probably doubly wrong to mention that wasn't it?

Dé Máirt, Márta 08, 2011



So, it seems that James O'Keefe has 'caught' an NPR executive 'exposing' his private liberal beliefs. This is proof that NPR is liberally biased because... because...., well, it's because you see that conservatism is so obviously correct that it is impossible for anyone to disagree with any part of it with any degree of honesty. So it doesn't matter whether someone 'believes' something non-conservative in their own minds, of if they report any 'facts' in the media which seem to suggest that right-wingers are not the most heroic, paternally wise, masculine, beloved by God creatures on earth. It's all the same conspiracy of petulant rebellion you see.

Dé Domhnaigh, Márta 06, 2011

There Was a Short Time When Marilyn Manson was Huge

'Antichrist Superstar' had just come out. I was a fan, and several friends of mine were, a bit more than fans.

There was this one kid, I forget his name, me and my friend from down the street who's dead now were splitting an fifth of whiskey and an eighth of weed with this kid when he told us he had had an orgy in the cemetery.

My down the street friend, Mexican, absurdly Catholic family, was horrified, wondered aloud how someone could do something so risky, you know, just in case there really is a vengeful God. As for me, I humored them both, but no, I knew that this kid hadn't had any damn orgy in the cemetery and neither did whoever he got that bullshit story from. It was early March, this very same time of year. Nobody loves Satan enough to get there junk frozen off. Come back in summer and maybe I'll believe any story of yours entailing more than under-the-pants fondling.

I had an ear for nonsense from an early age. I still haven't forgiven old flatrock for the rumors that shut down Blackjack pizza, about how the owner had AIDS and would open up his wrists just to bleed on the pizza. That bullshit chased off the best pizza that's ever been to North Platte. Fucking ignorant scerfs.

Dé Máirt, Márta 01, 2011

Happy Nebraska Statehood Day

Oh, and just a friendly reminder...