The Fine Line Between Patriotism and Narcisism

The U.S. Senate has passed a meaningless bill that defines English as "the national language" and another that defines it as "the common language". Neither bill went so far as to make English the "official" language and subject us all to Quebec-style absurdity; but this was clearly an attempt to appease the nativists who will settle for nothing less.
I don't object to having a single language of public business. But I am getting very tired of those who fret over the "Balkanization of America." This is such a shitty metaphor that I don't even know where to begin. The Balkan nations are mostly tribes with flags, as are most countries throughout history. We are an empire; we absorb different nations. The U.S. is not multicultural because of some p.c. socialist conspiracy, but because hundreds of millions of different people tend to be--different.

Let me address the small-town conservatives who are my old friends and neighbors. You have been taught your whole lives that your small-town lifestyle is America incarnate. No need to burst your bubbles on that just yet. You learned your first words in English, first said "momma" in English, celebrated the fourth of July in exactly the same way with everybody in town every year, and traded the same dirty-blond girlfriends around until you married the one you happened to be with at age 20. What does it all mean? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Deep down, you have always known this. Has your uniform culture really brought any peace to your life? The tweakers next door have a Dale Earnheardt flag too; but they're still stealing your hubcaps every Friday night. Your cousin likes country music too; but he still killed that Indian who looked at his girlfriend in the bar.
Conservatives should be the ones who realize that society is held together by self-interest; not by sentimental attachments brought about by common language and ritual. Society was much more uniform in 1861. Northerners and southerners both spoke English and prayed to the same Christian God. This did not stop them from blowing the shit out of each other when they thought it would be in their self-interest to do so.
Common belief does nothing to ensure the peace. Common culture does nothing to ensure the peace. Common language does nothing to ensure the peace. Even if any of this were the case, it is not a proper state concern to enforce something as liquid and abstract as culture. The recent influx of Latin immigrants just may be the final dagger in the heart to those who have spent 250 years trying to turn the U.S. into Great Britain the sequel. If this proves to be the case, than praise zombie Jesus and viva la Raza.