In lieu of the Inter at Barca Champions League semi-final, Fox Sports Net 'Kansas City' is instead treating us to a baseball game between the Royals and Mariners, two teams who are a combined 18-23.
People generally cheered when Fox Sports took over American Champions League broadcasts from ESPN, because there is no one, least of all myself, who disputes that the entire ESPN empire is choleric diarrhea. But at least it's an international, bazillion dollar concern that would never broascast a Royals/Mariners game to anyone for any reason ever. The trouble with Fox Sports Net is that it's made up of exactly that, loosely connected 'nets' or regional affiliates with regional commitments.
Still it's no excuse. Surely there must be a limit for how long Kansas City has to suck at everything before their sports teams stop getting the default regional treatment in the Omalink area, or Kansas City for that matter. I mean it's bad enough to watch the Chiefs morbidly go through the motions of a 24-3 loss to a playoff bubble team. But when the Champions League, which is one of the greatest events in not only sports but all of leisure and entertainment, gets bumped in favor of the K.C. Royals, the sight of whom has been known to drive billionaire princes to suicide, something is profoundly wrong.
Isn't high past time we as a society stop pretending that there's any sort of civic duty to support teams that have been Godawful for longer than you've had pubic hair? I'm not suggesting that run become a 'front-runner' supporting the Yankees or the Lakers from wherever you happen to be just for a cheap thrill and bigger internet penis, I'm saying that you should just let your shitty teams die, naturally, mercifully. Boycott any media organ that says anything about the Royals, any radio station that broadcasts their games, any newspaper featuring a sportswriter spitting out cliched lines of dismay at how a local team that has never had 'it' can somehow get 'it' together in time for, what exactly? Playoffs? PLAYOFFS? I suggest nothing radical foreisn or communistic, never would I dare suggest that American sports ditch their six-month long postseasons or install Euro-style relegation to the minor leagues for bad teams. Rather what I suggest is something like relegation through capitalism, that's American enough isn't it?
And don't worry Kansas City, no one's going to think that you're second-rate if you don't have a baseball team anymore. We already know you're second rate because a shopping-mall of bars is the peak of your culture. And for the love of a starving crack whore will you please do something about that riverfront?
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