The Sandlot

While I'm reminiscing I'd like to make a shout out to a film I'd sure you'd agree helped to mold all of the males of my generation. Who among us can think about "The Sandlot" without feeling something warm in his eye? Oh, Hammy, you lovable fat disgusting fuck. Here's some of my favorite quotes from the movie, enjoy.

[Hams] I'm the Great Bambino.
[Boys] What?
- I'm the Great Bambino. - [ All ] What?
I'm the Great Bambino.
[All] Oh!
[Smalls]Who's that?
[All] What?
[Smalls] Sounds like some rapper. Are you all a bunch of nigger lovers or
something?


[Mother] I don't want you sitting around in here all summer fiddling with
this stuff...
like you did last summer and the one before.
I know you're smart, and I'm proud of you.
I want you to get out into the fresh air and make some friends.
Run around, scrape your knees, get dirty.
Climb trees, hop fences.
Get into trouble, for crying out loud.
Not too much, but some. You have my permission.

[Smalls] Bitch I make trouble! What the fuck you know trick?!!


[Mr. Mertle] Yep. I used to crowd the plate...
so the strike zone almost disappeared.
[ Laughs ] Pitchers hate that.
That's the way I played-- 110% all the time.
Baseball was life.
And I was good at it, real good.
And then... one day,
a high fast one, and pow,
lights went out.

[Bennie] (Points 12-gauge shotgun against Mertle's head)
It's time to take out the audio motherfucker!
(Pulls trigger, cloud of blood and brains envelops the room)

[Scotty Narrating] Even though Bill loved the Murderer's Row ball,
he was still plenty mad about me having swiped...
his Babe Ruth autographed ball and ruining it.
So I didn't feel too bad when he made me play naughty nun for a week,
instead of the rest of my life.

[ Timmy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Tommy ] She don't know what she's doing.
[ Benny ] Yeah, she does.
She knows exactly what she's doing.
[Squints] I've swum here every summer of my adult life.
And every summer, there she is,
lotioning, oiling, oiling, lotioning.
I tell you fellas what. I'm going to break into that bitches
house tonight, right through her bedroom window. I'm going to
beat her face in a bit, just to bring her to her sense ya dig?
Then I'm gonna give her a choice between my dick in her mouth
or my knife in her throat.

[Benny] Hell yeah Squints! Show that bitch what's up!!!