Whiteclay part 25

Okay, so let's reiterate, when we came to the village of Halsey, Becky had to pee. The only public buildings in this "town" were the post office and the school. The post office did not have a public restroom. The school did not have qa sign indicating that it was a school. We didn't know that we were entering a school, and once we did, well, business had to be taken care of. If we had any ill intent, we surely would have picked a bigger town and....

Never mind, are we clear so far?

It was at Merna that a Custer County deputy began following us. I had been going about sixty-eight in a sixty-five and I thought that's why we were being tailed. But he didn't pull us over, he just stayed behind us. I was a little concerned, I didn't want to have to wait another ten minutes for lunch.

It wasn't until we reached the edge of Broken Bow that he turned on his cherries. There was a Broken Bow town cop parked there as well. Another Sheriff's department car, he looked to be the sheriff himself judging by his age and manner, kept circling around us.

The cop who had followed us from Merna walked up to the car and asked for my license and registration. We explained that it was Dan's car and we were driving in shifts. He acted as if this was unheard of. He asked me why I handed him an I.D. card instead of a proper driver's license. I explained that my license had been taken away fro drunk driving (sorry about that society) but had since been restored. I simply hadn't bothered to get a physical license, as my i.d. card still shows a white man with medium-long hair and I thought that sufficient. At any rate, I know full well that the police can check their computers to see if I'm allowed to drive in Nebraska or not. I'm hard like that.

We had a good idea about what happened. Someone had uncovered our James Joyce scam. We were going to jail for vandalism and theft by taking. One way or another we were going back to Sheridan county in chains to face the just revenge of the common people. We would be the laughing stocks of outstate Nebraska. We would never live this down, and it would be a good three or four hours before we could eat solid food at the jail house. Sliced turkey on white bread, or maybe meatloaf and green beans. It would be better than what we had been eating but I was hungry right now.

A white Ford Explorer with internal sirens joined us. A man in a psuedo Oscar De La Renta stepped out, talked to the local cops for awhile, and walked up to us. He was a special investigator for the state patrol, sent from North Platte just for us.

"What were you doing in Halsey?"
"Just passing through"
"Uh-huh, what were you doing at the school?"
"Our friend had to use the bathroom"
"Yeah? Well why couldn't you just go behind a bush?"

"I was actually the one who had to use the bathroom sir" said Becky.
"Uh-huh, next time just go behind a bush."

He left us and went back to consult with the local cops. Soon one of them came to the door.

"What were you doing up there in Halsey?"
We repeated the story?
"Where are you coming from?"
"Pine Ridge"
"What were you doing there?"
"It was a Spring break trip"
"Spring break, huh, when's that?"
"Right now"
"Umm, well, your license plates show you're from Omaha, Lincoln, or Sarpy County, what are you doing up here?"
"Like we said, Spring Break trip"
"Um, and when does that get over?"
"We go back Monday, don't we Josh?" said Dan
"Yeah, Monday, sir"
"Ummkay, you all students then?"
"Yes sir"
"Where at?"
"UNL sir"
"Your ID's show you from North Platte, Mc'Cook, Omaha, what are you doing in Lincoln"
"We're students sir"
"Ummhmm, out for Spring Break?"
"Yes sir"
"When do you go back to school?"

He walked away, the police talked among themselves some more and the man in the budget suit returned.

"Mr. Beran?"
"Yes sir?"
"I see you don't have a license"
"I actually am licensed to drive sir, if you check your.."
"Why don't you have a license?"
"Well, I was actually a bad person and had my license suspended for DUI. It's sinse been restored but I just haven't gotten a new one yet."
"Mmmhmm. Is there anything you're not telling me?"
"No si..."
"What were you doing in Halsey?"
"Our friend had to use the bathroom."
"Right, you know if you're hiding anything from me I'm not going to like it. I received a report of possible terroist activity in the area. I just drove seventy miles, they told me it was an urgent situation"
"Are you seri..."
"Yeah, so what were you doing in Halsey?"
"Well our friend had to.."
"How do I know you didn't leave a pipe bomb in the bathroom just for shits and giggles?"

"Ummm"
"No, tell me why I should believe your story, why shouldn't I believe that your up to something?"

The man clearly knows his Kafka, and let this be a lesson in legal reasoning for you. The main reason why the burdan of proof is on the state in criminal cases is not so much because of kindness or compassion, but because it is nearly impossible to prove a negative. I climbed Mt. Everest last year. Prove that I didn't.

"Well, this looks really suspicious to me, I mean what are you guys doing out here?
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask to search your car."

Note the choice of words; "Im afraid I'm going to have to ask you" delivered in a firm, commanding,voice. Sitting there, reading the plain text from the comfort of your own home, without the cold eyes of justice staring down on you, you can plainly see that the phrase means nothing. I just wanted to point this out to you; so that when you are accused of terrorism, and you will be, you will know how the game is played. This also goes for any drug smugglers out there who might be reading this. I love you guys. You provide a vital service to the community, and it just breaks my heart to see so many of you folding like paper in the breeze before that commanding voice.

He looked at Dan, he looked at me. He was trying to break us, divide us. He clearly had no idea of who or what we are, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered. Why are you looking at me? You know it's not my car. If I give the okay for you to check the trunk it will get thrown out by any judge that doesn't have the ten commandments on his bech and you know this. I know you checked my criminal history on your computer.
Does this look like my first rodeo to you motherfucker?

He looked at me, I looked at Dan, he looked at Dan.

"And if I were to refuse, what would happen to me?"
"I'm afraid there isn't much I can do. I will find it suspicious, and I'll make a note of it."

Firm, commanding voice.

The firm, commanding voice, of our triumph.

"I'm going to have to say no to that" said Dan in the ringing voice of liberty.

Yes, yes, make your note and get the fuck out our face.

"I don't want to see you around Halsey again."

"Okay"


There was another brief consultation. The original deputy who had followed us from Merna came back with my I.D.
"So, on your spring break trip huh?"
"Yes sir"
"You students?"
"Yes sir"
"At UNL?"
"Yes sir"
"When does school start again?"
"Monday sir"

He gave me a hundred dollar ticket for driving without a license. It hangs on my fridge. Last week they sent me a warning to pay or a warrent would be issued for my arrest. I mailed them a check for fuck you and thirty cents.

Words can't describe how proud I am to have been accused of terrorism. Finally, my childish acts of rebellion gain official attention. In the context of the trip, it was the best thing that could have happened. Coming home from vacation is usually so anti-climactic and depressing. This was just what we needed. This was fire and glue.

We drove into town and had lunch at some plact that was too expensive. A "sports bar" built to cater to hunters from Lincoln and Omaha. Great food, though. I had the kilbasa with grilled veggies and strong coffee. Dan was still worried that the local authorities still might tie us to James Joyce but I assured him they had missed their chance.

And now, in the name of full disclosure, I provide them with another one, if they care to look. Just what does it mean to be 'noted?' What would happen if I tried to board a plane?

We drove out of Broken Bow toward Grand Island and Lincoln blasting "Fuck Tha Police"
Yeah, we went there.

Come down to the valley, come down to the city, come down, come down.