Dé Sathairn, Márta 20, 2010

NCAA Notes: Dear Miller Brewing Company

I'm afraid that a mutual hatred of women will not inspire me to buy your product. Because I myself do not hate women, indeed I think I prefer them to men in many ways. Even without the sex factor they're still fine company, up to a point of course. While I agree, Miller, that women do speak far too much and expect intense emotional attachment far too soon, it is also true that if I am ever at the point of drinking Miller Christfucking Light, this means that I am already drunk and so much more likely to enjoy what some random girl has to say; and I also just may be madly in love with whoever she is for the next hour or so.

I realize that your customer base is made up largely of men who deeply resent the women in their own lives and remain in their relationships chiefly to adhere to social norms. But aren't you just wasting your money appealing to regular guys; giving them little chuckles to hold back their tears of rage when you already know that they're going to buy Miller Light? Isn't the point of advertising to gain new customers? I ask this only out of concern. I am a loyal citizen who wants nothing more than the continued success of our corporate institutions, and I am at your service.

Sincerely,
Joshua D. Beran

1 comment:

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