Dé Céadaoin, Feabhra 09, 2011

There's This Spot

Just outside of North Platte, behind Buffalo Bill's ranch and the Wild West Arena, if you know where those are, northwest side. The spot is called Buttsex Bridge, at least by me. Whether anyone else calls it that or not, I doubt it, because I've never told anyone that I call it that, except maybe an old girlfriend this one time, but it's more likely that whoever happens to read this will be the first ones I've told.

I named it after graffiti that someone tagged on an oil tank next to a creek bridge. It said 'buttsex'. For the longest time thought it said 'bullsex' because of a company sign partially covered the phrase. No trespassing would be my guess, I never read it. You may think that the phrase 'bullsex' must necessarily to either bestiality betweeen humans and bulls or homosexuality among cattle but that isn't so. The truth is that all mammals masturbate. If you're wondering about the ones who don't have hands, which is most of them of course, well they have their ways. Porcupines will fuck gaps between rocks or twigs. A buck that can't get lucky during mating season can actually bend its dick backwards and get off on its own thighs. I saw it on Discovery. I imagine that bulls do something similar to one or the other. They rape calves too, just as likely their own as not since male cattle don't recognize kin.

They cleaned up the 'buttsex tag' several years ago. I smoked weed there many a time. Still do once every year or so, when I'm home for this or that. Next to the road bridge there's a bridge carrying a canal over a creek. It feeds North Platte River water to the farms between the rivers and North Platte and Hershey. Ungodly filthy water in that canal. A friend of mine fell into it once and got a rash on his calves that ate the top three layers of skin off. But he's a jackass and brings these things on himself.

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