Ode to the asshole next to me at the Dylan concert

You thought Kings of Leon sucked.
You broke the fundamental rock concert taboo
Against hating on the opening act
You shouted out "You Suck"
This is something that one
Never, ever, does
Ever.

(By the way, I like Kings of Leon, but I suppose that's not important)


I suppose you're too old
To appreciate the muscianship involved
in a good noise run
Perhaps I should not be,
Such a snob,
I'm 25, after all,
and fast approching the end
of my own playground days

But anyway

You told me how,
You went to an Eagles show,
a couple of months back,
You told me
How they sounded Just Like!!
They do on their albums.

If you truly appreciated
Music...
You would understand
why this is a bad thing,
If Bob himself
Heard you talk such nonsense
He would have shook his head,
And said something inenteligble
in response

Speaking of which,
I saw the look of confusion on your face
as the man
Played versions of "It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding"
and "Highway 61 Revisited"
That were radically different,
from what he played on his albums
Suck it you yupee Millard fuck.

Your wife is very nice
It's a shame she ended up with you
She fetched you another 5$ glass
of Budwiser "beer"
even though you had clearly had enough.

This confused me
I have seen the statistics
of married people
living longer than singles

The implication is that
those who have settled down,
had some puppies,
are less inclined,
to drink a 750
of Sailor Jerry's every night.

the implication is that
a good wife,
is like a mobile bartender
who knows when to cut you off
with equal parts firmness and sympathy.
She spoke too me with respect,
Though my poverty is obvious
Just by the sight of me,
Perhaps she just needs some self-confidence

You told me that the two of you have
a 21-your old son
That means that she must be
at least 40
She's really taken care of herself

Maybe I just want to have your wife
So I can dishonor you

She had a light in her eyes,
a respect, a humanity,
That one who runs an Applebees,
at 180th and Center
could never hope to have

How did you two ever...?
Life is full of little tragedies.