If I have failed to pimp the House of Awesome on this blog yet, let me just offer my apoligies and say, well, it's all in the title. Also, Billy Knuckles kicks ass. Check out their MySpace page or catch their next show in the Lincoln area.
(I feel so dirty.)
Dé Sathairn, Meán Fómhair 09, 2006
Dé hAoine, Meán Fómhair 08, 2006
Tales From the State Fair`
I saw numorous absurdities at the Nebraska State Fair, too many to cover in one post. (It's Friday Night, and I pretend to have a life.) One thing that sticks in my mind, since it came at the end of my visit, was seeing Ms. LaRae Eifert working the state GOP booth in the arts and crafts expo. i noticed her blond power haircut from accross the room. She was the only Republican who ran against two Democrats for the (officially) nonpartisan seat in the state unicam for my district.
My distrct (the 46th) includes both campuses of UNL, the neighborhoods of Havelock, University place/Weslyan U., and various shanties in between. Ms. Eifert lives in the furthest northeast corner of the district, in what is easily the most affluent part. (Not that ther's anything wrong with that...) She told the Lincoln Journal Star that "unlike my opponents, I don't have some liberal agenda." She received the endorsement of the state elephants. (Remember, our statehouse is nonpartisan, all parties can do is endorse). She was also endorsed by Nebraska right to life. In most sections of Nebraska, this would be more than enough to trounce the competition. Unfortunately, a neighborhood full of college students and immigrants seemed strangely unafraid of a liberal agenda. Eifert finished dead last in the primary. So the general election will consist of hot, Democrat-on-Democrat action.
I bring up Miss. Eifert because of what she told me at the fair. I pretended to be a supporter and asked her a couple of questions about the campaign. She said that these days, even in local races, you need the money. This was a strange answer, since all of the candidates (Ms. Eifert and Ms. Carol Brown are small business owners, Ms. Danielle Nantkes is a lawyer) sit on the border line between the middle and upper class. They should have had a similar amount campaign funds. If Eiffert had milked her GOP "endorsement" for all it was worth, she could have even had an advantage in funds.
Perhaps, Ms. Eifert, you just ran into one small, glorious corner of Nebraska who won't buy your bullshit.
My distrct (the 46th) includes both campuses of UNL, the neighborhoods of Havelock, University place/Weslyan U., and various shanties in between. Ms. Eifert lives in the furthest northeast corner of the district, in what is easily the most affluent part. (Not that ther's anything wrong with that...) She told the Lincoln Journal Star that "unlike my opponents, I don't have some liberal agenda." She received the endorsement of the state elephants. (Remember, our statehouse is nonpartisan, all parties can do is endorse). She was also endorsed by Nebraska right to life. In most sections of Nebraska, this would be more than enough to trounce the competition. Unfortunately, a neighborhood full of college students and immigrants seemed strangely unafraid of a liberal agenda. Eifert finished dead last in the primary. So the general election will consist of hot, Democrat-on-Democrat action.
I bring up Miss. Eifert because of what she told me at the fair. I pretended to be a supporter and asked her a couple of questions about the campaign. She said that these days, even in local races, you need the money. This was a strange answer, since all of the candidates (Ms. Eifert and Ms. Carol Brown are small business owners, Ms. Danielle Nantkes is a lawyer) sit on the border line between the middle and upper class. They should have had a similar amount campaign funds. If Eiffert had milked her GOP "endorsement" for all it was worth, she could have even had an advantage in funds.
Perhaps, Ms. Eifert, you just ran into one small, glorious corner of Nebraska who won't buy your bullshit.
Dé Máirt, Meán Fómhair 05, 2006
Goodbye you batshit insane human puppy
I remember watching "Crocidile Hunter" for the first time and thinking "this man will die on television." We all knew he would be killed by a wild animal. But the fact of the matter is that nobody, nobody dies like he did. There have only been 17 people killed by a singray, ever; and it is believed that Irwin's is the first human death-by-stingray to be caught on camera. Just think of it; this is the man who fondeled poisonous snakes, chased giant jungle cats, and offered his infant son to a crocidile as bait. After all this, he meets the statistically impossible end of catching a stingray tail square in the heart. How appropriate, perhaps, even preordained for this walking cartoon of a man. I can only hope that I can find a hobby that is equally as dangerous and amusing. It would be the only thing that can save me from a cliche death of cirrhosis.
Stay strong Terri, Steve has Jesus to protect him from himself now. Come to think of it, she wasn't there when the fatal incident happened, was she? What if? Isn't that the only hell we need?
Goodbye loco Steve
Though I never knew you at all
you had the grace to cream yourself
at the sight of those who crawled
They crawled, out of the swamp
and agents whispered into your brain
They dressed you up in Khakis,
and made you use that stupid slang
And it seems to me, you lived your life
Like dead meat in the tin
Terri wasn't there to save you
when the ray set in
and I would've liked to know you
but I'm just a dud
your candle burned out long after
we ever thought it would
Dé Luain, Meán Fómhair 04, 2006
Sunday
Coffee, heavy food, deep introspection. Silence, most of all the silence. The city that caters to students. It knows we need silence. No buses, low traffic. It's never said out loud. There's no sense in trying to have an economy today. Church bells? I never notice.
But where I come from, It's always quiet. It doesn't carry the meaning, the common understanding, of the quiet here. Blue collar types, they have their days off whenever. They understand weekend, they understand Sunday, but not really. The social functions, the drinking, the work, the drinking, it can come at any time.
So my mother calls on Sundays. It's a good day to call. It's the sabbith, a holy day, a family day. But I want silence. I have my radio at a low buzz. Prairie Home Companion rerun, baseball game, nothing too challenging. Than she calls. "How's dad?" "How are the dogs?" "No, I haven't talked to my sister. Why would I?" "No, there is no special someone, once every few weeks there is a random someone. One was 19 and liked it when I..." "how's grandpa?"
And than it is done. The only sign of hangover is a brain like cement. It will take all day for me to organize what must be done tommorrow.
But where I come from, It's always quiet. It doesn't carry the meaning, the common understanding, of the quiet here. Blue collar types, they have their days off whenever. They understand weekend, they understand Sunday, but not really. The social functions, the drinking, the work, the drinking, it can come at any time.
So my mother calls on Sundays. It's a good day to call. It's the sabbith, a holy day, a family day. But I want silence. I have my radio at a low buzz. Prairie Home Companion rerun, baseball game, nothing too challenging. Than she calls. "How's dad?" "How are the dogs?" "No, I haven't talked to my sister. Why would I?" "No, there is no special someone, once every few weeks there is a random someone. One was 19 and liked it when I..." "how's grandpa?"
And than it is done. The only sign of hangover is a brain like cement. It will take all day for me to organize what must be done tommorrow.
Dé Sathairn, Meán Fómhair 02, 2006
Saturday Caption
Nebraska state Attorney General Jon Bruning was recently forced to mimic a gay sex doll after losing a round of bridge.
Dé hAoine, Meán Fómhair 01, 2006
The Worst Place in Nebraska
Those of us who live in Nebraska often wonder which depraved, knuckle dragging hell hole is the worst. Common sense would tell us that this must be somewhere in the Sandhills; where tiny villages are seperated by 50 miles of grass, ranchers live with delusions of being English aristocracy, and everyone lives under rules that we aren't meant to understand and would do well not to ask about.
A nice wild card would be the Omaha exurbs, say Elkhorn or Gretna. Here we have gentlemen who keep camo-colored hunting equipment in their $20,000, immaculate garages. They might even go hunting one or two days a year, as long as they can take the kids along and pretend that they have any tradition or culture. These are the assholes who keep both talk radio and classic rock radio in business, so that "More Than A Feeling" is actually played more today than when it was on the charts.
It's been said before by smarter people, but baby boomers truly are assholes. Not my parents of course, but everyone else's. The sense of entitlement is obsene. Millions of people who truly believe they earned the $500,000 plastic box they live in, who make a wreck of the future secured for them by their fathers and promised to their children. These West Omaha types, especially, consider themselves country boys. They live in Nebraska after all. Real country boys, however, don't mind driving two hours to get to town. Contrast this with the truly demonic anger seen in the faces of a typical Millard driver stuck in one of Omaha's 10-minute "traffic jams". "Why the fuck does it take so long to get to Ruby Tuesday's? Don't the laws of physics have any idea who I am?"
But where was I?
Aw yes. I'm afraid that not even this concrete and golf course shithole qualifies as the worst place in Nebraska. This would be Falls City, halfway between Kansas City and Omaha in the southeast corner of the state.
First of course, there is the Teena Brandon murders. Who could forget this inspirational stand for traditional values? In fairness, it's not as if John Lotter and Tom Nissen would have been perfectly nonviolent if not for a little intolerance. These are truly fucked up dudes who likely would have slaughtered anyone who went near Lotter's ex-girlfriend. The real black mark to Falls City was the way Brandon was treated by local authorities after he was raped. (Why do you make girls think you're a guy?" "Do you kiss them.?") The sheriff's department, as you know, did nothing to protect Brandon until he and two other people were dead. Local authorities did do a good job of prosecuting the killers. Dead bodies, after all, don't have weird and unnatural desires .
A decade later, it's third world style wedding bells. Yes, the Koso wedding, in which a 21 year old married his pregnant, pubesicent sweetheart. It might have been the biggest news in the state during the second half of last year. And why not? There was controversy, after all, about whether or not the elder Koso should go to jail.
What's that you say? "Why the hell was there any controversy? He's a fucking child molestor!" Calm down. You see, marriage means something round these here parts. Many of the Koso's family and neighbors were angered that a man would be locked up by the state instead of being left alone to take care of his family. True, most of these same people would be loudly demanding his execution if he buggered a 13-year old boy. True, you can bet your Cadillac that everyone in Falls City voted for DOMA, so that two 40-year-old gay lovers can't get so much as common dental insurance in this state. What can I say? Marriage means something around these parts. Our purpose in life, especially for a female, is to reproduce and fullfill our natural gender roles. So what if little Peggy got a head start? What else was she going to do, go to college? Tut, tut. Mothers who send their daughters to college will never be grandmothers. They just end up with bitter ungrateful socialists who can't even make it back to Falls City for Christmas.
Now we have the story of an unfortunate incident with Falls City police. For a change, , this story doesn't involve ignorance, intolerance, or inbreeding, just stupidity.
It involved the arrest of one Ann Marx, a middle aged woman with a pill problem. The local authorities somehow got word that she was planning to score some blues from a Falls City nursing home resident.
So naturally, they treated this border-line felony as if it was bin Laden trading coke for favors at the local grade school. They hid behind bushes, and talked code to each other in that real cool cop talk. When Marx emerged, they swooped down with guns drawn. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, a deputy named Tom Landis fired his gun into Marx's head and killed her. (Case under investigation, details suspisciously hazy.) The case has been more complicated by the grandstanding of state Attorney General Jon Bruning, who overdramatized a routine gag order from a local judge.
But none of this is important. The important thing is that Falls City is safe from a shifty Xanex head. "You know, they got drugs up there in the city, they sell drugs. Good thing Sheriff nipped this thing in the bud"
Worst place in Neb... the entire Midwest.
A nice wild card would be the Omaha exurbs, say Elkhorn or Gretna. Here we have gentlemen who keep camo-colored hunting equipment in their $20,000, immaculate garages. They might even go hunting one or two days a year, as long as they can take the kids along and pretend that they have any tradition or culture. These are the assholes who keep both talk radio and classic rock radio in business, so that "More Than A Feeling" is actually played more today than when it was on the charts.
It's been said before by smarter people, but baby boomers truly are assholes. Not my parents of course, but everyone else's. The sense of entitlement is obsene. Millions of people who truly believe they earned the $500,000 plastic box they live in, who make a wreck of the future secured for them by their fathers and promised to their children. These West Omaha types, especially, consider themselves country boys. They live in Nebraska after all. Real country boys, however, don't mind driving two hours to get to town. Contrast this with the truly demonic anger seen in the faces of a typical Millard driver stuck in one of Omaha's 10-minute "traffic jams". "Why the fuck does it take so long to get to Ruby Tuesday's? Don't the laws of physics have any idea who I am?"
But where was I?
Aw yes. I'm afraid that not even this concrete and golf course shithole qualifies as the worst place in Nebraska. This would be Falls City, halfway between Kansas City and Omaha in the southeast corner of the state.
First of course, there is the Teena Brandon murders. Who could forget this inspirational stand for traditional values? In fairness, it's not as if John Lotter and Tom Nissen would have been perfectly nonviolent if not for a little intolerance. These are truly fucked up dudes who likely would have slaughtered anyone who went near Lotter's ex-girlfriend. The real black mark to Falls City was the way Brandon was treated by local authorities after he was raped. (Why do you make girls think you're a guy?" "Do you kiss them.?") The sheriff's department, as you know, did nothing to protect Brandon until he and two other people were dead. Local authorities did do a good job of prosecuting the killers. Dead bodies, after all, don't have weird and unnatural desires .
A decade later, it's third world style wedding bells. Yes, the Koso wedding, in which a 21 year old married his pregnant, pubesicent sweetheart. It might have been the biggest news in the state during the second half of last year. And why not? There was controversy, after all, about whether or not the elder Koso should go to jail.
What's that you say? "Why the hell was there any controversy? He's a fucking child molestor!" Calm down. You see, marriage means something round these here parts. Many of the Koso's family and neighbors were angered that a man would be locked up by the state instead of being left alone to take care of his family. True, most of these same people would be loudly demanding his execution if he buggered a 13-year old boy. True, you can bet your Cadillac that everyone in Falls City voted for DOMA, so that two 40-year-old gay lovers can't get so much as common dental insurance in this state. What can I say? Marriage means something around these parts. Our purpose in life, especially for a female, is to reproduce and fullfill our natural gender roles. So what if little Peggy got a head start? What else was she going to do, go to college? Tut, tut. Mothers who send their daughters to college will never be grandmothers. They just end up with bitter ungrateful socialists who can't even make it back to Falls City for Christmas.
Now we have the story of an unfortunate incident with Falls City police. For a change, , this story doesn't involve ignorance, intolerance, or inbreeding, just stupidity.
It involved the arrest of one Ann Marx, a middle aged woman with a pill problem. The local authorities somehow got word that she was planning to score some blues from a Falls City nursing home resident.
So naturally, they treated this border-line felony as if it was bin Laden trading coke for favors at the local grade school. They hid behind bushes, and talked code to each other in that real cool cop talk. When Marx emerged, they swooped down with guns drawn. For reasons that aren't entirely clear, a deputy named Tom Landis fired his gun into Marx's head and killed her. (Case under investigation, details suspisciously hazy.) The case has been more complicated by the grandstanding of state Attorney General Jon Bruning, who overdramatized a routine gag order from a local judge.
But none of this is important. The important thing is that Falls City is safe from a shifty Xanex head. "You know, they got drugs up there in the city, they sell drugs. Good thing Sheriff nipped this thing in the bud"
Worst place in Neb... the entire Midwest.
Dé Céadaoin, Lúnasa 30, 2006
Leave it To Fox News
Fox News "War On Christmas" dipshit John Gibson has come out in defense of media obssesion with the Jon-Benet Ramsey murder case. Give him and Fox credit for addresing the controversy. All of the high brow media sources, (NPR, NYT) have also been sucked into the hype, and have chosen to defend their reputations by pretending that there is no controversy about it. For once, let's raise a glass to the pseudo-populists. Now lets get to the bigger problem.
"I think the no. 1 issue to people in this country of all races, both genders, and all economic backgrounds is their children. Here we've got a guy who is an admitted pedophile, who can be hear literally drooling over the thought of luscious little JonBenet." Gibson
All true enough. But human beings are not symbols. JonBenet Ramsey does not represent all children, all child murder victims, or even the general vulnerability of children. To continue to present her as such, now that she has been dead longer than she lived, is an unforgivible insult. As it is unforgivible to make a symbol out of anyone who was once a living individual; with sovereign feelings and concerns that probably didn't have a thing to do with yours.
Let's not think for a minute that the Ramsey case is purely altruistic. Human beings are still mostly animals, after all, and the only death that an animal can conceive of is being eaten by a predator. We humans know that we will die. Yet we still have a hard time understanding what that really means unless someone dies at the hands of a human "predator, be it a terrorist, sex offender, or random thug. The media know that these stories will attract our attention, and that our attention will attract advertisers. This is why a poor girl who was murdered last decade gets more attention than the millions of children who are dying of cancer, AIDS, or starvation right now.
This contributes to some disasterous real world effects. Tax money spent on weapons and prisons, when more lives would be saved if it were spent on hospitals and research. Parents investing in guns instead of doctors and healthy food for their kids. We have created a society where we are taught that the biggest thing we have to fear is each other. Needless to say, this does not create a society where people are willing to help each other. Instead, some have turned to the very law of the jungle that our species has spent a million years trying to escape. A Mad Max fantasy land where government serves no purpose beyond interfering with a man's ability to defend his tribe.
"I think the no. 1 issue to people in this country of all races, both genders, and all economic backgrounds is their children. Here we've got a guy who is an admitted pedophile, who can be hear literally drooling over the thought of luscious little JonBenet." Gibson
All true enough. But human beings are not symbols. JonBenet Ramsey does not represent all children, all child murder victims, or even the general vulnerability of children. To continue to present her as such, now that she has been dead longer than she lived, is an unforgivible insult. As it is unforgivible to make a symbol out of anyone who was once a living individual; with sovereign feelings and concerns that probably didn't have a thing to do with yours.
Let's not think for a minute that the Ramsey case is purely altruistic. Human beings are still mostly animals, after all, and the only death that an animal can conceive of is being eaten by a predator. We humans know that we will die. Yet we still have a hard time understanding what that really means unless someone dies at the hands of a human "predator, be it a terrorist, sex offender, or random thug. The media know that these stories will attract our attention, and that our attention will attract advertisers. This is why a poor girl who was murdered last decade gets more attention than the millions of children who are dying of cancer, AIDS, or starvation right now.
This contributes to some disasterous real world effects. Tax money spent on weapons and prisons, when more lives would be saved if it were spent on hospitals and research. Parents investing in guns instead of doctors and healthy food for their kids. We have created a society where we are taught that the biggest thing we have to fear is each other. Needless to say, this does not create a society where people are willing to help each other. Instead, some have turned to the very law of the jungle that our species has spent a million years trying to escape. A Mad Max fantasy land where government serves no purpose beyond interfering with a man's ability to defend his tribe.
Dé Máirt, Lúnasa 29, 2006
RIP Vashti McCollum
This is the hero who died last week at 93. Back in 1948, she went to the Supreme Court to force her children's school district to stop forcing its students to take classes on their particular religion. The vote was 8-1 in her favor. What would the vote be today? Don't ask. These classes were, of course, strictly(cough) neutral (cough). Of course, the Protestants got to take their classes on school property, while Jews and Catholics had to go to buildings off campus. (Society has gotten more complex since then, I shudder to think where they would ship the Muslims off to today.) The Champaign Illinois School District justified this on the grounds that since they were promoting all religions (cough) it was acceptible. Mc'Collum had the gall to say that athiests and agnostics were, under the law, equal in dignity to Christians, Jews, and the rest. Therefore, since the country was founded on freedom of, and yes, even freedom from, religion, it was better not to say anything about religion in schools at all.
There are amusing moments in the NYT obituary. During the first trial, Mrs. Mc'Collum's father elicited gasps from the entire courtroom when he said he didn't believe in God. As a lapse Diest, I have no idea what it feels like to be shocked, shocked!, by someones nonbelief. Maybe I hang out with the beautiful people too much.
There are also outrages. Mc'Collums house was vandalized. Her children were bullied. They all received death threats. Courtesy of Good Christian types, who realize that God is very sensitive and feels really bad unless everybody is praying to him in a precisely correct manner. While he's desparing over being stood up by an uppity mortal, he's totally incapible of taking care of himself. He won't be okay again until we give him a few days with some scented candles, six pints of ice cream, and his trusty Carol King cd's. That leaves it up to the true believers to defend his honor, by any means neccessary.
These are the mental ancestors of today's right wing. Those who claim to be unaffected by political correctness. Those who claim to understand better than us filthy libs how much more enlightened Western society is than the Middle East. Since we are so much more enlightened and free than the Muslims, we must force all Americans to believe in the same things so that we may have the strength to crush the infidel.
Come back Vashti. We need you.
Dé Luain, Lúnasa 28, 2006
Dé Sathairn, Lúnasa 26, 2006
Some of those who work Forces
I'm sure the headline has been used elsewhere on the net in regards to this story, but I just find it irrisistible. Robert Henderson, a state patrolman out of Omaha, is a member of the KKK. (Technically, the "knights party") You can read all about it at journalstar.com or virtually any other source of Nebraska news.
Henderson was fired in the spring when his after-hours activities were revealed. Unfortunatly, he got a lawyer and went to court to keep his job. A New York arbiter decided that firing him for his klan ties violated his freedom of association rights, and he's back on the job.
Needless to say, this has not gone over well with elected officials. Attorney General Bruning (fairly honest and decent by Republican standards) is appealing the decision. It goes without saying that this would be bad for the image of any state, especially an overwhelmingly white and rural state with an authoritarian streak. State officials must at least try to get this bastard kicked off of the force, the people of Nebraska will not suffer embarssment.
On the other hand, Henderson's freedom of association claims should not be taken lightly. I'm sure there's four or five cops somewhere in the world who are members of the Socialist Workers Party, and most small-town Sheriffs would never allow such types on their force if they weren't forced to. And of course being a member of the KKK should not get one fired from the local Gas n Go.
But being a member of a government force is different from working in civil society. Military men and women have restrictions on their freedom of speech, association, and movement that the rest of us would never tolerate. The nature of the job, requiring strict obediance and coordination, simply doesn't allow it.
Police work requires objectivity. Not the unattainable journalistic dream, but real objectivity. A cop must examine evidence without making any assumptions on where it will lead. A cop must listen to conflicting stories without thinking that the one who was "one of them" is the one who is lying. Racism is a belief in automatic, unchangeable, inferiority and superiority. This makes it more unAmerican than Facism, Communism, soccer, or any other crack pot doctrine. Allowing police to have this much freedom of association threatens freedom for the rest of us.
On a lighter note, Henderson was driven to the KKK after his wife ran off with a Hispanic man in 2003. Isn't thisjust what any mature adult would do? I can only guess that he must be trying to win the gold in the pathetic olympics.
Hago que su esposa gime como una reina del prom.
Contrary to what some might expece, Senator Chambers has not reacted to the news with massive hyperventilations.
"To have an individual who has associated himself with an organization having a history of lynching, bombings, burnings, racial violence, hatred-not only against black people but Jews and other groups they detest and think have no right to be on the face of the earth-is totally unacceptable.
Sounds damned reasonable to me, Chambers doesn't even seem to be that surprised.
My middle school once hosted a state trooper who spoke with clear longing of a time when applicants could be turned down for being gay. Some years later I saw him berating Tim Butz, the old director of the state ACLU for showing a film on the Patriot Act and "stiring up trouble in a small town"
I don't find this news very surprising myself.
Dé hAoine, Lúnasa 25, 2006
8-3, at best
Perhaps they will have the honor of being throtled in the Holiday Bowl. Otherwise don't expect much. Somebody calm the rabble down before things get ugly.
Déardaoin, Lúnasa 24, 2006
Brainard Daily Dispatch, Aug. 8, 1945
I found this while aimlessly wondering the internet and found it interesting. For one thing, this is clearly the pre-television era. This small town newspaper has more text than the modern New York Times. I wonder what it must have been like to have a functioning attention span.
I also appreciate the high standard of jounalistic objectivity. The annihilation of the filthy Japs is reported without any hint of political spin. If only the Liberal media stopped causing problems for our government. We are at war, and the press should get back to its real job, constantly reinforcing our moral rightousness.
TO Serve as Best we Can, For Victory!
Dé Céadaoin, Lúnasa 23, 2006
School so Far
Just once, I would like to go through a semester in which I don't have a single class where the prof goes around the room and has everybody introduce themselves and "tell everybody something about yourself" I prefer to be a social hermit during the work week and only come out when the females get very friendly. what happened to professional distance? I want professors who can read about my death and not care. When I ask about an assignment, I want the first response to be "I'm sorry, who were you again?" Why the hell else am I paying to go to a large university if not to be just another worker ant, free to passive-aggressively subvert things without gaining too much notice?
Dé Máirt, Lúnasa 22, 2006
Nuclear War On September 12th, everyone invited.
The House Of Yahweh (www.yahweh.com) is a rather interesting little religious sect. I won't call them a cult, because they are not. They really aren't any crazier than the more enthusiastic Pentacostal sects, just more Jewish.
They do believe that Jesus (excuse me, Yeshhua) was the son of God(Yahwah, sorry.) and the messiah; and also that he rose from the dead. But their are little differences. They believe he was executed on a Wednesday instead of Friday, and that he was hung on a straight pole instead of a cross. Why do they consider these differences important? Well, they're kind of vague about that. By the way, Jesus isn't divine either, just the son of God.
They are especially big on clensing true monotheism of Pagan influences. This means no Halloween, no Easter, no Christmas, which they have correctly surmised are nothing but inventions of pagan (European) holidays retrofitted into Christianity. They do celebrate Passover, Yom Kipper, etc. (No word on Haunakah) They also insist on using the original Hebrew when refering to God, Jesus, or any biblical prophets. Any other common name for the diety is spawned from European (pagan) sources and therefore bad. They seem very confident that their grasp of aincient Hebrew is better than everybody else's. This is questionable, but never mind.
All in all, nothing remarkible, certainly nothing dangerous. There is no reason why these people should not be allowed to keep kosher in peace. Even better, they are in the minority. Therefore they are used to being surrounded by people who disagree with them. This certainly gives them a leg up on the country WASP.
But than they had to go and pull this shit. On Sunday night, a very well dressed and polite man handed a HOY newsletter to random students in the NU student union. I was one of them. We all accepted the free gift in a polite Midwestern manner, complete with thank you sirs. Even those who spent five minutes mocking the contents before throwing the letter away included the sir.
In this letter, the sect's leader, Yisrayl Hawkins predicts that nuclear war will start on September 12, 2006. He bases his prophecy on several biblical passages describing unspecific catastrophes of one type or another. Needless to say, there are no specific dates given in any of the cited verses. Hawkins believes that the end is coming soon because this is "the greatest time of sin and trouble ever." No one who understands what went down between 1900 and 1945 would say such a thing.
Worst of all, Hawkins doesn't give any advice on what we should do about the coming apocolypse. He simply says his followers have a sacred duty to warn the world. Very well, I appreciate your warning and take it under advisement. What should I do about it? Does your group have any mandate to save the mortal skins of nonbelievers? Because otherwise, I can't just jump onto your bandwagon now. It's a matter of integrity, you understand. Better to burn in hell and stay honest. Plus, there is the simple fact that I just don't believe you. If you really convinced me, I would drop out of school and spend my life savings on a homewrecker of Hennesey and three top shelf, Las Vegas hookers. Now imagine if I do that and you turn out to be wrong. You really should be more careful (and specific) about predicting the end of the world.
It's just sad how a sect so unique could stoop to the old nutcase cliche of setting a specific date for the end of the world. There are, of course, several sects in every religion who are entirely concerned with the creation and destruction myths of their respective faiths to the exclusion of the moral meat. But the HOY should be too young and obscure for that. They're not even well known enough to be villified for being "outside the mainstream" yet. Really Hawkins! "The end is nigh!" How tragically bland, like Gandalf singing Amazing Grace over shitty canned organ music.
They do believe that Jesus (excuse me, Yeshhua) was the son of God(Yahwah, sorry.) and the messiah; and also that he rose from the dead. But their are little differences. They believe he was executed on a Wednesday instead of Friday, and that he was hung on a straight pole instead of a cross. Why do they consider these differences important? Well, they're kind of vague about that. By the way, Jesus isn't divine either, just the son of God.
They are especially big on clensing true monotheism of Pagan influences. This means no Halloween, no Easter, no Christmas, which they have correctly surmised are nothing but inventions of pagan (European) holidays retrofitted into Christianity. They do celebrate Passover, Yom Kipper, etc. (No word on Haunakah) They also insist on using the original Hebrew when refering to God, Jesus, or any biblical prophets. Any other common name for the diety is spawned from European (pagan) sources and therefore bad. They seem very confident that their grasp of aincient Hebrew is better than everybody else's. This is questionable, but never mind.
All in all, nothing remarkible, certainly nothing dangerous. There is no reason why these people should not be allowed to keep kosher in peace. Even better, they are in the minority. Therefore they are used to being surrounded by people who disagree with them. This certainly gives them a leg up on the country WASP.
But than they had to go and pull this shit. On Sunday night, a very well dressed and polite man handed a HOY newsletter to random students in the NU student union. I was one of them. We all accepted the free gift in a polite Midwestern manner, complete with thank you sirs. Even those who spent five minutes mocking the contents before throwing the letter away included the sir.
In this letter, the sect's leader, Yisrayl Hawkins predicts that nuclear war will start on September 12, 2006. He bases his prophecy on several biblical passages describing unspecific catastrophes of one type or another. Needless to say, there are no specific dates given in any of the cited verses. Hawkins believes that the end is coming soon because this is "the greatest time of sin and trouble ever." No one who understands what went down between 1900 and 1945 would say such a thing.
Worst of all, Hawkins doesn't give any advice on what we should do about the coming apocolypse. He simply says his followers have a sacred duty to warn the world. Very well, I appreciate your warning and take it under advisement. What should I do about it? Does your group have any mandate to save the mortal skins of nonbelievers? Because otherwise, I can't just jump onto your bandwagon now. It's a matter of integrity, you understand. Better to burn in hell and stay honest. Plus, there is the simple fact that I just don't believe you. If you really convinced me, I would drop out of school and spend my life savings on a homewrecker of Hennesey and three top shelf, Las Vegas hookers. Now imagine if I do that and you turn out to be wrong. You really should be more careful (and specific) about predicting the end of the world.
It's just sad how a sect so unique could stoop to the old nutcase cliche of setting a specific date for the end of the world. There are, of course, several sects in every religion who are entirely concerned with the creation and destruction myths of their respective faiths to the exclusion of the moral meat. But the HOY should be too young and obscure for that. They're not even well known enough to be villified for being "outside the mainstream" yet. Really Hawkins! "The end is nigh!" How tragically bland, like Gandalf singing Amazing Grace over shitty canned organ music.
Dé Luain, Lúnasa 21, 2006
Fight Songs: Big 12 Edition
Ah yes, the heartland itself, with the exception of Texas and Colorado, full of states without either truly huge cities or major league teams. A land of traditional values, where reasonably intelligent adults actually expect the college teams to act as male role models for their children and even themselves. come with me and take a big, unguarded step into some Great Plains culture.
Oklahoma
Boomer Sooner!
Boomer Sooner!
Boomer Sooner!
(And So On)
Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma Okla....
(I am not kidding)
I'm A Sooner Born
I'm a Sooner Bred
And When I Die
I'll Be Sooner Dead
Rah Oklahoma, Rah Oklahoma!
Rah Oklahoma! OKU!
Well, I was pretty rude to Texas A&M for their needlessly elaborate fight song, so I guess I have no room to complain about this one. I'm sure there's at least a few graduates of Ou with a vocabulary in the dozens.
Oklahoma State
Oklahoma State! Oklahoma State!
We'll Sing Your Praise Tonight
To let you Know, Wherever We Go
For the Orange And Black We'll fight
We'll Sing your worth all over the earth
And Shout K! Y! K! YE!
In Books of Fame we'll right your name
Oklahoma State!
This is fairly typical. Cult-like promises of loyalty mixed with gibberish. Along with a typical midwestern pledge to assualt anyone who cheers for the wrong team. But the real comedy gold comes from OSU's touchdown song.
Ride-em cowboys ee-yah!
Ride-em cowboys ee-yah
Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride
Ride Em Cowboys Down The Field
Fight, Fight, fight, Fight,
Fight em Cowboys and never yield
Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride
Ride on Cowboys to Victory
Cross..... goal
Than We'll Sing
Oklahoma State!
Damn. No wonder you sing their praises at night. It's good to see that OSU has returned to a nice, hard, driving, straining running offense.
Kansas State
Fight, you K-State Wildcats
For your Alma-Mater, Fight, Fight, Fight!
Glory In the Combat!
For the Purple and White
Faithful to Our Colors,
We Shall ever Be
Fighting, Ever fighting
For A Wildcat Victory. Go State!
Here we see facism at its most extreme and destructive. Making war not in the name of racial, national, or religious supremecy, but as an end unto itself. "Glory in the combat." Truly horrifying.
Last, but not least, my humble lair...
Nebraska
There is no Place like Nebraska
Good Old Nebraska U!
The girls are The Fairest
The Boys are the squarest
Of Any old Place that I knew
There is no place like Nebraska
Where they're all true blue
We'll all stick toghether
In all kinds of weather
For good o Nebraska U!
Now isn't that just like a glass of lemonade after an oppresive summer's day? The pledge of loyalty is adequate yet mild. No oaths to "eternal loyalty" or "glory in the combat" This ditty conjures up images of the turn of the 20th century. Just relaxing with one's subservient virgin girlfriend and watching the local 11 cast off the foreign barbarians. Lovely, just lovely.
I may cover other leagues as football season rolls along. But as of now, my mind grows restless.
Oklahoma
Boomer Sooner!
Boomer Sooner!
Boomer Sooner!
(And So On)
Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma Okla....
(I am not kidding)
I'm A Sooner Born
I'm a Sooner Bred
And When I Die
I'll Be Sooner Dead
Rah Oklahoma, Rah Oklahoma!
Rah Oklahoma! OKU!
Well, I was pretty rude to Texas A&M for their needlessly elaborate fight song, so I guess I have no room to complain about this one. I'm sure there's at least a few graduates of Ou with a vocabulary in the dozens.
Oklahoma State
Oklahoma State! Oklahoma State!
We'll Sing Your Praise Tonight
To let you Know, Wherever We Go
For the Orange And Black We'll fight
We'll Sing your worth all over the earth
And Shout K! Y! K! YE!
In Books of Fame we'll right your name
Oklahoma State!
This is fairly typical. Cult-like promises of loyalty mixed with gibberish. Along with a typical midwestern pledge to assualt anyone who cheers for the wrong team. But the real comedy gold comes from OSU's touchdown song.
Ride-em cowboys ee-yah!
Ride-em cowboys ee-yah
Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride
Ride Em Cowboys Down The Field
Fight, Fight, fight, Fight,
Fight em Cowboys and never yield
Ride, Ride, Ride, Ride
Ride on Cowboys to Victory
Cross..... goal
Than We'll Sing
Oklahoma State!
Damn. No wonder you sing their praises at night. It's good to see that OSU has returned to a nice, hard, driving, straining running offense.
Kansas State
Fight, you K-State Wildcats
For your Alma-Mater, Fight, Fight, Fight!
Glory In the Combat!
For the Purple and White
Faithful to Our Colors,
We Shall ever Be
Fighting, Ever fighting
For A Wildcat Victory. Go State!
Here we see facism at its most extreme and destructive. Making war not in the name of racial, national, or religious supremecy, but as an end unto itself. "Glory in the combat." Truly horrifying.
Last, but not least, my humble lair...
Nebraska
There is no Place like Nebraska
Good Old Nebraska U!
The girls are The Fairest
The Boys are the squarest
Of Any old Place that I knew
There is no place like Nebraska
Where they're all true blue
We'll all stick toghether
In all kinds of weather
For good o Nebraska U!
Now isn't that just like a glass of lemonade after an oppresive summer's day? The pledge of loyalty is adequate yet mild. No oaths to "eternal loyalty" or "glory in the combat" This ditty conjures up images of the turn of the 20th century. Just relaxing with one's subservient virgin girlfriend and watching the local 11 cast off the foreign barbarians. Lovely, just lovely.
I may cover other leagues as football season rolls along. But as of now, my mind grows restless.
Dé Domhnaigh, Lúnasa 20, 2006
BigredWelcomeWrapup
There are now over 135 student Christian organizations on the UNL campus. I am sure there is some overlap in membership along with some obscure breakaway Unitarian sects that have only three members and exist only on the UNL campus. The shame of it is that these were the only booths giving away worthwhile free shit. I couldn't take any of it, since they of course required you to sign up to an e-mail list- and than they would know me.
Planned Parenthood didn't have any condoms this year, which is a damn shame. Than again, I showed up late, and I only live a few blocks from the actual office. Damned fine organization. Old Chicago pizza tasted like free. It will probably be the last time I ever have Old Chicago pizza. My superior taste in beer is well known and I have no need to spend forty dollars to make a point.
Finally, I actually heard a DJ for one of the local commercial stations (FM107something) actually promise the crowd to keep things crunk. This was followed by the most derivative rap act since PDiddy's hay day. I'd have to say this was the highlight of the day.
Planned Parenthood didn't have any condoms this year, which is a damn shame. Than again, I showed up late, and I only live a few blocks from the actual office. Damned fine organization. Old Chicago pizza tasted like free. It will probably be the last time I ever have Old Chicago pizza. My superior taste in beer is well known and I have no need to spend forty dollars to make a point.
Finally, I actually heard a DJ for one of the local commercial stations (FM107something) actually promise the crowd to keep things crunk. This was followed by the most derivative rap act since PDiddy's hay day. I'd have to say this was the highlight of the day.
Dé Sathairn, Lúnasa 19, 2006
To William Callahan: RE: INVITE
Let's get the most obvious problem out of the way here. You arn't my coach. In the unlikely event that we ever meet personally, you will refer to yourself as Mr. Callahan. Second of all, all practices should be free, what gives you the slightest idea that I would find mechanized men attacking dummies to be the slightest bit entertaining. I'm sure you'll attract a fair share of the crowd that thinks that the weekend starts at noon on Thursday, but no one who is actually going to graduate is going to watch a practice. Finally, how dare you send me a generic form letter? Do you have any idea who I am?
Dé hAoine, Lúnasa 18, 2006
Fight Songs: SEC Edition
Auburn
War.... Eagle, Fly Down The Field
Ever To Conquer, Never To Yield
War Eagle, Fearless and True
Fight On, You Orange And Blue
Go! Go! Go!
On To Vic'try, Strike Up The Band
Give Em Hell, Give Em Hell
Stand Up And Yell.. Hey!
War Eagle, Win For Auburn
Power Of Dixie Land
Here we have one of the more awkward single lines. (Stand up and yell, hey!) In fact the whole song descends into non-rhyming curses and shouts for a while. We also have the most overt football-is-war motif I've seen so far. I have no idea why people in "Dixieland" are so martial. Their record still sits on 0-1 the last I heard.
Florida
So Give A Cheer For Orange and blue
Waving Forever
Forever Pride Of Old Florida
May She Droop Never
We'll Sing A song For The Flag Today
Cheer For The Team At Play
On To The Goal We'll Fight Our Way
For Florida
At least they acknowledge that the team is only playing. Their zeal toward their state is a little disturbing though, especially considering their history. You people will droop your flag in the presence of stars and stripes or else.
Tennessee
Now I See The Importance Of History
Why People Be In The Mess They Be
Many Journeys To Freedom Made In Vain
My Brothers On The Corner Playing Ghetto Games
I Ask You Lord Why You Enlightened Me
Without The Enlightenment Of All My Folks
He said Cuz I set Myself On A quest For Truth
And He was There To Quench My Thirst
But I am Still Thirsty...
The Lord Allowed Me To Drink Some More
He Said What I Am Searchin For Are
The Answers To All Which Are In Front of Me
The Ultimate Truth Started To Get Blurry
For Some Strange Reason It Just Had to Be
It Was All A Dream About Tennessee
Take Me to Another Place
Take Me to Another Land
Make Me Forget All That Hurts Me
Let Me Understand Your Plan
This one is decidedly more haunting and downbeat than the typical fight song. It artfully reflects the despair felt by the children of the civil rights movement as they came of age in the early nineties and saw how much work remained to be done. I applaud the University of Tennessee for their social consciousness.
Vanderbelt
Dynamite! Dynamite!
When Vandy Starts To Fight
Down The Field With Blood To Shield
If Need Be Save The Shield
If Victory's won when battle's Done
Than Vandy's Name Will Rise In Fame
Win Or Lose The Fates Will Choose
But Vandy's game Will Be The Same
Dynamite! Dynamite!
When Vandy Starts To Fight
V-A-N-D-Y- Vandy, Vandy, Go, Go, Go
Take a close look at this song. I have never seen more blatant Jihadist propaganda. It's called "Dynamite" and the title is repeated frequently. It is utterly fatalistic. Fate (or should I say Allah) will decide who wins and who loses, but as long as the enemy bleeds, it will all be o.k. Save the shield indeed. It will hardly do you any good when your flying in twenty different directions. We must invade Vanderbelt, kill its leaders, and convert the students to Christianity.
War.... Eagle, Fly Down The Field
Ever To Conquer, Never To Yield
War Eagle, Fearless and True
Fight On, You Orange And Blue
Go! Go! Go!
On To Vic'try, Strike Up The Band
Give Em Hell, Give Em Hell
Stand Up And Yell.. Hey!
War Eagle, Win For Auburn
Power Of Dixie Land
Here we have one of the more awkward single lines. (Stand up and yell, hey!) In fact the whole song descends into non-rhyming curses and shouts for a while. We also have the most overt football-is-war motif I've seen so far. I have no idea why people in "Dixieland" are so martial. Their record still sits on 0-1 the last I heard.
Florida
So Give A Cheer For Orange and blue
Waving Forever
Forever Pride Of Old Florida
May She Droop Never
We'll Sing A song For The Flag Today
Cheer For The Team At Play
On To The Goal We'll Fight Our Way
For Florida
At least they acknowledge that the team is only playing. Their zeal toward their state is a little disturbing though, especially considering their history. You people will droop your flag in the presence of stars and stripes or else.
Tennessee
Now I See The Importance Of History
Why People Be In The Mess They Be
Many Journeys To Freedom Made In Vain
My Brothers On The Corner Playing Ghetto Games
I Ask You Lord Why You Enlightened Me
Without The Enlightenment Of All My Folks
He said Cuz I set Myself On A quest For Truth
And He was There To Quench My Thirst
But I am Still Thirsty...
The Lord Allowed Me To Drink Some More
He Said What I Am Searchin For Are
The Answers To All Which Are In Front of Me
The Ultimate Truth Started To Get Blurry
For Some Strange Reason It Just Had to Be
It Was All A Dream About Tennessee
Take Me to Another Place
Take Me to Another Land
Make Me Forget All That Hurts Me
Let Me Understand Your Plan
This one is decidedly more haunting and downbeat than the typical fight song. It artfully reflects the despair felt by the children of the civil rights movement as they came of age in the early nineties and saw how much work remained to be done. I applaud the University of Tennessee for their social consciousness.
Vanderbelt
Dynamite! Dynamite!
When Vandy Starts To Fight
Down The Field With Blood To Shield
If Need Be Save The Shield
If Victory's won when battle's Done
Than Vandy's Name Will Rise In Fame
Win Or Lose The Fates Will Choose
But Vandy's game Will Be The Same
Dynamite! Dynamite!
When Vandy Starts To Fight
V-A-N-D-Y- Vandy, Vandy, Go, Go, Go
Take a close look at this song. I have never seen more blatant Jihadist propaganda. It's called "Dynamite" and the title is repeated frequently. It is utterly fatalistic. Fate (or should I say Allah) will decide who wins and who loses, but as long as the enemy bleeds, it will all be o.k. Save the shield indeed. It will hardly do you any good when your flying in twenty different directions. We must invade Vanderbelt, kill its leaders, and convert the students to Christianity.
Déardaoin, Lúnasa 17, 2006
Back To School Special: Texas Fight Songs
I've Decided To Spend the Next Few Days Highlighting Selected College Fight Songs Based. Those With the most anachronistic slang or most overtly fascist overtones are more likely to get posted. This makes Texas a good place to start.
Tarleton State
On Ye Tareleton
On Ye Tareleton
Break Right Through That Line
Ever Forward, Ever Onward
We'll Get There or Die
On Ye Tareleton, On Ye Tarleton
Fight For Victory
Fight, Texans. Fight! Fight! Fight!
And Win This Game
You'll never win the game if you kill yourselves every time you have to punt.
TCU
We'll Raise A Song, Both Loud and Long
To Cheer Our Team To Victory
For TCU, So Tried And True
We Pledge Eternal Loyalty
Fight On Boys, Fight With All Your Might
Roll Up The Scores For TCU
Hail White And Purple Flag
Whose Heroes Never Lag
Horned Frogs, We our All For You
Coach has just declared himself dictator for life? We pledge eternal loyalty.
Texas A&M
Hullabaloo! Caneck! Caneck!
Hullabaloo! Caneck! Caneck!
All Hail To Dear Old Texas A&M
Rally Round The Maroon and White
Good Luck to The Dear Old Texas Aggies
They are the boys who Show the Real old Fight
That Good Old Aggie Spirit Thrills Us
And Makes Us Yell and Yell and Yell
So Let's Fight for Dear Old Texas A&M
We're Going To Beat You All To
Chig-Gar-roo-gar-rem!
Chig-Gar-Roo-gar-rem
Rough! Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A&M!
Hulabaloo! Caneck! (Etc)
Good-bye To Texas University
Goodbye To the Orange and White
Good Luck To the Dear old Texas Aggies
They are the Boys Who SHow The Real Old fight
"The Eyes of Texas are Upon You"
This is The Song They Sing So Well
So Goodbye Texas University
We're Going To Beat You all To
Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem
Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem
Real Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A&M!
Saw Varsity's Horns Off (Repeat 3x)
Short! AYYYY!
Varsity's Horns are Sawed Off (Repeat 3x)
Short! AYYYY!
1. Here we see Texas-sized egos in play. Fight songs are supposed to be short and simple, not complete with multiple verses and choruses.
2. I believe this song was written by an Ewok who spoke English as a second language. Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem bitches.
3. The football team plays 11 games a year. Why the obssession with UT? College rivalries are not cute. They are not quaint. They are provencial horseshit, plain and simple. Yes, I know that your big rivalry is a sacred tradition that I just don't understand. Well, that's because there is nothing to understand. Nothing except Victorian era gender indoctrination; strapping young men filled with the martial spirit by their common hatred of the other. In the modern age, this spirit reflects itself through burned couches and slightly more rape victims than a normal weekend. Hail varsity!
The University of Facsist Athletic Department Surrounded by A Pretty Cool Town
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
And It's GoodBye to A&M
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
And We'll Put Over one More Win!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
For It's Texas That We Love Best!
Hail! Hail! The Gang's All Here!
And It's Goodbye To All The Rest
Yea Orange! Yea White!
Yea Longhorns! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
Yea Texas Fight!
Texas Fight! Tex.. (Moving Along Here)
The Eyes Of Texas are Upon You!
All The Live Long Day!
The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You
You Cannot Get Away!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
For It's Texas That We Love Best!
Hail! Hail! The Gang's ALl Here!
And It's Goodbye To All The Rest!
This one is slightly better. It's still too long, but they certainly have got the simple part down. Once again, we have obssession with a particular rival. I think I've made my thoughts on this clear enough. We also have the famous"Eyes of Texas are upon you" line. Indeed they are, and you can not get away from the gaze that stares with utter contempt upon all who refuse to recognize its godly superiority.
Tarleton State
On Ye Tareleton
On Ye Tareleton
Break Right Through That Line
Ever Forward, Ever Onward
We'll Get There or Die
On Ye Tareleton, On Ye Tarleton
Fight For Victory
Fight, Texans. Fight! Fight! Fight!
And Win This Game
You'll never win the game if you kill yourselves every time you have to punt.
TCU
We'll Raise A Song, Both Loud and Long
To Cheer Our Team To Victory
For TCU, So Tried And True
We Pledge Eternal Loyalty
Fight On Boys, Fight With All Your Might
Roll Up The Scores For TCU
Hail White And Purple Flag
Whose Heroes Never Lag
Horned Frogs, We our All For You
Coach has just declared himself dictator for life? We pledge eternal loyalty.
Texas A&M
Hullabaloo! Caneck! Caneck!
Hullabaloo! Caneck! Caneck!
All Hail To Dear Old Texas A&M
Rally Round The Maroon and White
Good Luck to The Dear Old Texas Aggies
They are the boys who Show the Real old Fight
That Good Old Aggie Spirit Thrills Us
And Makes Us Yell and Yell and Yell
So Let's Fight for Dear Old Texas A&M
We're Going To Beat You All To
Chig-Gar-roo-gar-rem!
Chig-Gar-Roo-gar-rem
Rough! Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A&M!
Hulabaloo! Caneck! (Etc)
Good-bye To Texas University
Goodbye To the Orange and White
Good Luck To the Dear old Texas Aggies
They are the Boys Who SHow The Real Old fight
"The Eyes of Texas are Upon You"
This is The Song They Sing So Well
So Goodbye Texas University
We're Going To Beat You all To
Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem
Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem
Real Tough! Real Stuff! Texas A&M!
Saw Varsity's Horns Off (Repeat 3x)
Short! AYYYY!
Varsity's Horns are Sawed Off (Repeat 3x)
Short! AYYYY!
1. Here we see Texas-sized egos in play. Fight songs are supposed to be short and simple, not complete with multiple verses and choruses.
2. I believe this song was written by an Ewok who spoke English as a second language. Chig-Gar-Roo-Gar-Rem bitches.
3. The football team plays 11 games a year. Why the obssession with UT? College rivalries are not cute. They are not quaint. They are provencial horseshit, plain and simple. Yes, I know that your big rivalry is a sacred tradition that I just don't understand. Well, that's because there is nothing to understand. Nothing except Victorian era gender indoctrination; strapping young men filled with the martial spirit by their common hatred of the other. In the modern age, this spirit reflects itself through burned couches and slightly more rape victims than a normal weekend. Hail varsity!
The University of Facsist Athletic Department Surrounded by A Pretty Cool Town
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
And It's GoodBye to A&M
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
And We'll Put Over one More Win!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
For It's Texas That We Love Best!
Hail! Hail! The Gang's All Here!
And It's Goodbye To All The Rest
Yea Orange! Yea White!
Yea Longhorns! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
Yea Texas Fight!
Texas Fight! Tex.. (Moving Along Here)
The Eyes Of Texas are Upon You!
All The Live Long Day!
The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You
You Cannot Get Away!
Texas Fight! Texas Fight!
For It's Texas That We Love Best!
Hail! Hail! The Gang's ALl Here!
And It's Goodbye To All The Rest!
This one is slightly better. It's still too long, but they certainly have got the simple part down. Once again, we have obssession with a particular rival. I think I've made my thoughts on this clear enough. We also have the famous"Eyes of Texas are upon you" line. Indeed they are, and you can not get away from the gaze that stares with utter contempt upon all who refuse to recognize its godly superiority.
Dé Céadaoin, Lúnasa 16, 2006
Mr. Heartlands Moral Crisis
The Fall Semester can't come soon enough for me. I have become a living, breathing strawman of what the right declares that Liberalism will lead to. I "embrace" one moral code or another simply for the vaguely sexual pleasure of breaking it. I have embraced irony and debauchery to the point where news of the death of innocents in war leads to nothing but laughter at the human condition. It's not that I consider myself superior, just hopelessly disconnected. I have forgotten that the void is supposed to make me feel bad. The organized schedule of school can do nothing but save me. I am nothing but an empty hedonistic rake.
But enough of this pussy-ass Myspace whining. I still have five days of summer left, so here's an open invitation to come to my apartment for Faces of Death and freebase coke. Come one come all
But enough of this pussy-ass Myspace whining. I still have five days of summer left, so here's an open invitation to come to my apartment for Faces of Death and freebase coke. Come one come all
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