Token conservative throws fit

This would be Stacy Van Zuiden, columnist for the Daily Nebraskan. Our student paper takes the only liberal editorial position of any publication in the state. Like any responsible publication, however, it does allow dissenting voices. One thing I've noticed is that, while the liberals on the DN's op-ed page don't sound much different from the "professionals," (When not writing about masturbating with a shower head) the conservatives can get, a bit bratty.

Yesterday Marco Brown; a law student who spent much of last year concocting a theocratic version of American history in the paper, wrote a letter to the editor complaining about biased endorsements and editorials. Let me repeat that; a law student, of apperently above-average intelligence, made a public complaint about biased opinions.

Which brings us to Van Zuiden. While most "professional" conservative writers found solice in the fact that many of the Democrats making up the new majority are of the Ben Nelson variety, Van Zuiden turns only to the cold embrace of hatred to find comfort. She is clearly among the crowd that actually believed that the right would stay on top forever.

She starts off with a Nanci Polosi joke that is even lamer than the normal Nancy Polosi joke.

"I just finished putting 'I love Nancy Polosi' iron-ons to all of my shirts. Hooray for Democrats!"
"Actually I'm a liar, I would burn all my clothes before I would consider having people associate me with anyone in the new Democrat leadership"

Oh snap. It's good to know that there are some Republicans who really do fear "San Francisco liberal" Pelosi, and wern't just pretending for campaign purposes. Why is Nancy Pelosi evil? I don't know, and obvious as this may seem to the right, apperently neither does the rest of the country. Of course she is from San Francisco, where hash and homos are shamefully tolerated. Shockingly however, the GOP failed to convince the public this year that good Americans demonize huge chunks of their fellow Americans. And by the way dear, it's the Democratic leadership.

Please is someone could give me one comprehensive plan that any democrat espoused this election, let me know. quite simply, If I hear we should "stabilize Iraq qand than leave" uttered from the lips of another human being, I will not be responsible for my actions."

Perhaps we should wait another five years to be greeted as liberators, or just stick to plan one. Invade Iraq, have a few fake elections, send a few thousand kids to die, and never leave.

"Let me now remind you. Republicans have been the party of the people and for the people, preventing Democratic control of at least part of Congress for over a decade and holding seven of of the last 10 presidencies. That's power. The kind you would expect from a party who had its finger on the pulse of the public."

The second part of that statement is true enough I'm afraid, and of course power is a moral good unto itself that is worth bragging about. As for party of the people...

Sure, Republicans are wondering what went wrong, and that can be healthy, but you can't help but blame an impatient and irrational electorate. Iraq's not fixed right now and therefore, Republicans must go.

Attacking the voters themselves is the ultimate taboo. I give credit to Van Zuiden for breaking it. When we liberals called Bush voters a bunch of dumb hicks, we were called sore losers, but I suppose that's not the same thing as calling them impatient and irrational. The Iraq war has barely even lasted as long as World War II. It's only been three and a half years since his Majesty declared mission accomplished, how could people be so impatient?

My faith in god's soverignty and the splendor of democracy are much bigger than anything the new Democratic Congress can have up its sleeve.

Well, God is soverign over whatever he choose to be, isn't he. And if you choose the correct religion, than that gives you soverignty over those who choose the wrong religion, does'nt it?

As for the splendor of democracy, don't even pretend to believe in it. It's bad enough that the right wing insults American civilization by attacking san Francisco, New York, or any other filthy city that dares to reject their apperently obvious truth. It's bad enough that they insult American education and free thought by demonizing college professors, artists, and philosophers. If they stuck to only these groups, they could at least still claim to love the majority of the country, the heartland. White, Christian folks with three kids and a mini van. these are the people that the "party of the people" claimed to be of. Now we see that there are some right-wingers who won't think twice about attacking the white middle class if they dare to reject them and their failed excuse for a government.

The party of power worship.
the party of treating democracy as a politically-correct indulgence to be grudgingly tolerated.
The party of morality police and patriotism police.
the party of contempt for the most interesting aspects of its own civilization.
The party of protecting the people from themselves.

Yeah, it can be healthy to wonder about what went wrong. If the GOP continues to arrogantly present itself as America incarnate, we can expect more bitch-fests from losing conservatives in 2008.